All our Yesterdays Lie Gathered for the Plow
Most memory is like this: slushy, blurry, vaguely uncomfortable.
We walked in a hurry, barely noticing. Yeah, it was cold, it was hard. We felt bad for the ones who had it worse, but there were so many, we tried not to notice them.
We said things we regret, but we can't remember what they were.
All we remember is the regret.
Can that really have been us?
That time, that place? That position and velocity? If it was, is it recorded in some ledger? If time has an arrow which can be reversed, can we find ourselves there again? And if we do, can choose to change our paths?
Why should time be so different from the other dimensions?
We can walk left or right, forward or back. We can climb up or down. But along one particular axis it's just future, future, future. Like a train with its accelerator jammed full-forward.
We're passengers. We hope there's a few moments of pleasure and beauty ahead of us. A few bright minutes that condense into a focus strong enough to shine through the past that follows.
A perfect cup of coffee we can taste, forever.
Was that us?
Did we smile and laugh? Did we greet the afternoon with warmth and conversation, despite the weather? Did we have energy, ambition, passion?
Did we say "fuck it" and have a good time?
Did we fuck?
How did we end up here, at the culmination of all these accumulated moments? Did we consent to this life? Did we really choose it?
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Sweet!
This one is contemplative, isn't it? I hope you are feeling alright.
It still looks very cold and snowing, is it normal to have that much snow in March? :o
We've had a very mild winter so far. But March seems to be when the white s**t hits the fan around here, so to speak. I think it has something to do with the Gulf Stream and the Labrador Current bringing icy water down from Greenland.
I'm feeling great, actually - and thanks. These pictures just evoked a certain mood and this is what came out. But I've never been able to get over the feeling that free will is an illusion and we're all living in a movie.
It's a good movie, though, and I'm excited to see what happens next.
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