I think you are not as alone as you may think. Los Angeles has many of the same problems and it is ultra expensive. Saying what you feel on your feed is a good thing so your followers know and can chat about it. When I want to change my thoughts I listen to Dr Wayne Dyer videos on Youtube. I also fall asleep to it playing in my ear because I'm an insomniac as well. But when we change the inner messages we tell ourselves then our thoughts change. I just pound his lectures into my head and they really do work. You will be able to afford the forest sooner or later because you will be able to cash out some steem in a few years and laugh about it. Perhaps take a step back from alpha and just sell your votes on Smartsteem so you have some liquid sbd coming in every 2 days. Get through the burnout and start posting again. A step back is always good. Suicide isn't the answer because you won't know who awesome you did when steem pumps lol. Hang in there my friend and post more when you feel bad. YOu are not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for the advice CFLclosers, I will seriously consider what you have suggested here to improve my health.
I'm now 50 years old and have been through a lot of bad times and good times. You have plenty of times ahead both good and bad and you will be denying yourself those experiences if you opt out of living. There is plenty of time to die later when you are old lol. Just know there are tons of people out there feeling like you do and better health is around the corner. You will make remarkable changes in your life so try not to ambush them with how you are feeling at the current time. Lots to look forward to and lots of ways to get you through the darkness. Hang in there and reach out any time you want to. Your videos have inspired me to try dtube and learn more about steemit. You are important to many people in the world.
Hey @clfclosers! I'm glad to have discovered your comment through this post. Interestingly (in another stroke of surrendipity) I have been listening to another excellent interview with Sherry Swiney :
Sherry Swiney Dark Voices from Dark Entities 1/2
where she talks about "negative entities" (spirits) which invade us when our psychic defenses are down (think addiction) and create destructive inner thought-loops which can ultimately POSSESS us. I think that a lot of this suicidal thinking is a manifestation of this (on the individual and collective level). Now, whether Anthony Bourdaine ACTUALLY committed suicide, OR was "taken out" DOESN'T MATTER in relation to this theory - they are BOTH manifestations of this "negative energy". Interestingly, after reading your comment I noticed that the life-changing book which lead Ms. Swiney to her research was one by Dr. Wayne Dyer [at around the [9:00] mark of the above interview), and so I downloaded the following Wayne Dyer talk, and am in the process of listening :
Your Thoughts Are Creating Your Reality Dr Wayne Dyer Law of Attraction)
I like how he focuses on the Tao Te Ching, as I am a HUGE fan of that book. I am at the point now that I simply take in info from different sources (instead of the most "risky" strategy of "putting all of one's eggs in one basket", but Dr. Dyer is surely speaking some deep truth here, so I will add him to my lineup. I lived in Los Angeles for a while (like two years), and understand what you mean. It depends on where you go (ex. the Paramahansa Yogananda center in Malibu is surely a different vibe from the rest of Malibu, versus Hollywood, versus East L.A.). I met some VERY interesting people living in LA, and the place is so big and diversified that you can FIND interesting people and places. But agree that overall it is a mess (as is America in general these days). For me it's all about remaining in motion, then falling down, then getting back up, and moving forward again - sometimes two steps forward and one step back, OR EVEN one step forward and TWO steps back.
Thanks for commenting here, and sharing this. I've followed you.
@transcript-junky