Why do a lot of people live compared to others?

Hello folks, Good afternoon

Today I will write the reason why many people grow up always compared to others and stop living their own life. Every comparison made can be another moment of stress and sadness in someone's life.

source: http://eududueguigui.blogspot.com/2013/08/as-criancas-e-o-peso-das-decisoes.html

The comparison we make in relation to our person and others is not something that part ' alone ' from our head. This is generated in our childhood, when we have some caregiver (usually a parent) that keeps us compared to the other person. Usually moms do that. It's a way to manipulate the children. For example, the mother wants the child to view certain clothes and uses this argument:

_ "Look, your friend is a great daughter, because she wears the clothes her mother is talking about.. "

Did you see how a simple phrase can generate a bad belief in the child and then make it take it to the adult world when it grows??

When these are done with the child, the initial idea is to manipulate it, in such a way that it can never develop its own ideas and always have to follow what the adult says. For, following the parent (which was the mother, in this case), she will be accepted and loved in her familiar surroundings.

People usually take advantage of those who think that way and tend to want to command it, for those who act like this are usually more susceptible to the command of others, because if it conflicts with another person, this or a whole group allied to it will tend to "annoy" Purposefully with her, to make her beliefs related to dislove be activated again and she will give in to command without putting her point of view.

You can develop feelings like jealousy, anger, depression, anxiety... all because you can't have autonomy and know how to put yourself before people with different visions, especially those who like to go into conflict purposefully.

If she gives her the bad luck to fall close to psychopaths, she'll be manipulated her whole life without maybe realizing that she's suffering from these things, or, even realizing it, she won't know how to handle it.

source:http://angry-alcoholics.blogspot.com/2017/04/narcissists-and-children.html

This type of child who suffers these manipulations tends to have a lower self-esteem and always be compared to others, thinking that following the idea of people, will be someone accepted. The basis of all this is the following belief: "If I am equal to people, I will be accepted by them" or, "if I do what others do, they'll accept me." This really messes with someone's life, because it will never reach its full potential, because it is always following the herd.

For this, I recommend that from an early age, caregivers help the child to develop their autonomy, making their own choices and when she puts her ideas, let her talk and dialogue to make her understand opposing viewpoints and know whether to put In the face of situations. If a child is created in a medium full of manipulation, usually coming from parents with a tendency to perverse narcissism, with much chance, will be an unhappy and manipulative adult, unless they can free themselves from those beliefs that hinder their life very much.

Thank you all for reading and good afternoon!!!!!