Overcoming Loneliness

Sometimes it is good to be alone - you can read a book, listen to the music or just watch TV. It is your time in which you can relax and rest. But being lonely is never pleasant because that means that you feel empty, alone and unwanted, craving for human contact. You can be surrounded by people or have a lifelong relationship and still experience a deep pervasive loneliness. It is not quantity that counts, it is the quality of social interaction that combats loneliness.

Researches show that more than nine million people in Britain often or always feel lonely, according to a 2017 report published by Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness. Research that was conducted by the British Government has found that about 200,000 older people in Britain had not had a conversation with a friend or a relative in more than a month, and about 6% of adults said they felt lonely all or most of the time. In the same year, psychologist John Cacioppo from the University of Chicago reported that around 19% of older Americans said they had felt lonely for much of the week before they were surveyed. These results are very similar to those reported in Britain in 1948 and in previous studies in America too, so we can freely say that we have an epidemic on our hands.

To deal with the problem of loneliness, Prime Minister of Britain Theresa May even appointed a Minister for Loneliness. The decision was prompted by researchers who discovered that loneliness is connected with cardiovascular diseases and strokes, increased stress levels, decreased memory and ability to learn, antisocial behavior, poor decision-making, alcohol and drug abuse, the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, depression, and suicide. Vivek Murthy, the former United States Surgeon General, has written that loneliness has an effect on our length of life similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

We can blame the modern society for feeling lonely. More than ever in the history of mankind, people are living and aging alone. Communication technologies gave us social media and internet, which enable us to have thousands of friends and followers, but it seems that they can’t replace human relationship which was meant to be done in person. Factors that significantly contribute to loneliness are physical isolation, moving to a new location, divorce, and low self-esteem.

Loneliness can be overcomed as long as we are ready to take initiative and make some changes in our lives. The first step may be doing some community service or other activity that we enjoy. It can be a great opportunity to meet new people, but we should focus on developing relationships with the people who share similar attitudes, interests, and values with us. That kind of relationship has more chances to thrive and become long-lasting. Of course, every positive relationship also brings up our self-esteem and make us more successful in making new friendships and social interactions.

Remember always expect the best, focus on positive thoughts and attitudes in your social relationships, and everything will be much easier. What happens when people open up their hearts? They get better!

Image sources: 1, 2, 3.