On Feeling Foolish

Last week, I got talked into something foolish.

How foolish, you may ask. Well, Aaron failed to do his research up front and paid a small psychological price for it. It was my own fault; due to feeling overjoyed at what I thought was a great opportunity.

Ultimately, it was a good experience in terms of my continual resilience building exercise that is my life. However, I had to travel to the land of emotional pain to get there.

So what happened? I was contacted last week by The Professional Radio Network (PRN) based out of NYC.

The junior producer who called me advised that she was given my contact information from a website that I advertise on (they had never heard of PRN when I spoke with them later after this incident) and she thought the radio station's listeners would benefit from a short discussion on resilience and about my services.

She told me their current listener numbers (which seemed a little high in my opinion but what do I know about radio?) and asked to set up an interview time.

Great, I thought, free advertising and a great way to get my message about the importance of building resilience out to a larger audience.

We scheduled a day and time for the online discussion and the producer advised that she would send me a list of the questions beforehand and that the segment would be around 8 minutes in length. So far so good.

The questions seemed professional and straightforward. I completed them and emailed them back, so the interviewer would know my answers. Hey, look at me I'm a professional, right???

So the day came and about 15 minutes before I was to go on air, I become extremely nervous. The negative self-talk kicked in: What if you sound foolish? What if no one listens? Are my responses the best I could come up with?

Luckily for me, I was in my apartment. I did some basic breathing and yoga exercises, which greatly reduced my overactive amygdala.

I challenged my negative self-talk with some positive affirmations, reminding myself that this wasn't my first media interview. I re-framed my thinking from anxious to excited...ready to roll.

The interview turns out well, although the interviewer went off script a few times, no big deal. I felt confident and felt like my passion for teaching resiliency skills to my clients came through. The interviewer complimented me but ended our phone call in an ominous way, he distinctly said I can't wait to have you back for the longer interview.

Strange, I didn't have time for him to elaborate since he had another interview lined up and we ended the call.

Feeling quite pleased with myself, I decided to celebrate by getting an iced coffee at a local bakery near my apartment, since I could walk there, allowing me some exercise and sunshine. Outside, as my ego basked in the sun, my cell phone rang, it was an NYC number, similar but not the exact same number that the radio station interviewer called me using.

This was another employee, who stated his name and claimed to be an executive producer for Professional Radio Network. He advised that he listened to my interview and loved the topic. He lavished effusive praise on my comportment and eloquence. It was excessive, really excessive. My bullshit detector suddenly went off.

I stopped walking and that sinking feeling you get when you've screwed up or in this case been duped took hold. I had acted foolishly.

Very shortly, he laid into me using high-pressure sales tactics. They were going to have me on for a half hour segment, do some PR for my business as well as several other things, all for just 2500 dollars.

When I began to argue and he felt my pushing back on his sales pitch, that number began dropping. At the same time, I noticed his supposed number of listeners began to suspiciously increase.

I advised him that I would think about it and hung up, then quickly blocked all PRN's phone numbers.

Afterward, I did what I should have done before agreeing to the interview, I researched them. I found a lot of unhappy former clients that did not get everything promised them and found the whole investment to be a serious waste of both time and money.

There were clearly better ways to obtain much more quality marketing and PR. I did not give PRN any money but I gave them my time and my earnest best in terms of an interview.

My pride bubble was burst but maybe it needed to be. Lately, I've found myself moving away from the Stoic teachings I am so fond of reading. Maybe this was a lesson from the universe that indifference must be practiced on a daily basis.

As I write this, upon reflection, I am grateful for this lesson, this reminder that resilience can only be developed through daily conscious practice.