When you create something... do you create it solely for yourself... or do you have an audience in mind?

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Thank you for this question! I absolutely love this question so much. It's one the things I constantly found myself struggling with during my creative years. And it's definitely something a lot of artists find themselves contemplating and grappling with.

In fact it was the very conclusion I made regarding this topic; or probably that was made for me, that brought me where I am today.

The decision I made--or that was made for me-- was to only have myself in mind whenever creating. This might sound narcissistic at first, but in fact its a lot closer to the opposite. This is what I wrote in my journal; Is the final step of creativity inevitably putting your deed out there?

I dont think so.

I think creativity CAN be an end in itself. You can create stuff just for the joy of creation. You CAN make art for art' s sake. There is not only a sort of sublime beauty in this, it also saves us from quite a few heart breaks and anxiety.

The kind which arises when you base the amount of joy you derive from your art on the amount of approval and admiration you get from other people; people who seem to derive a lot of pleasure in being a "critics" and pointing out all the negatives while skimming the positives.

When I wrote my novel I had it in mind to get it published. I showed a couple of people and they agreed it was good; I sent out query letters and I got a lot of agents to request for the full manuscript. And finally someone offered me representation.

But in the process of editing our communication broke down and our vision for the story kinda diverged and in the end we had to part ways. This was a culmination of years and years of rejections upon rejections from literary magazines and journals and fellowships etc.

I've always believed in making art not for the approval of others, but for my catharsis and delectation. But due to it being expedient--as I suppose it is to every artist--I tried to get my works published and seen by a lot of people and loved and admired. But thankfully I've learnt to always put myself first.

Now I'm not saying not to have an audience in mind; hell im not even "saying" anything. I'm merely sharing my story. But if I'd say anything I'd say, create for yourself, for the joy you derive from it; for the catharsis; for the fulfillment. And if you choose to share it, fine. But never base your joy entirely on the opinion of others.

Making art for coterie is invariably the best--for me, at least. I mean sometimes we create something so magnificent that we feel its a selfishness on our part to choose to keep it a secret from the world. So, benovently, we decide to share. Which is why I said having a small but appreciating audience is definitely the best option for me.

Create for yourself, and share to coterie if you must. That's my watchword.

Cheers and have a nice day!