How to build a relationship

in #social6 years ago (edited)

The biggest mistake of most people is the expectation that another person will fill your life with something new, fill it with meaning. But in practice everything does not happen as you expect or even worse. It's all about misunderstanding the purpose of the relationship.

And the goal is to understand and realize the best ideas about yourself. Only this will make you truly happy. Relationships will not live up to your expectations, if you will put into life the best ideas about another person. But knowledge of the goal will not help in creating a harmonious relationship. There are a couple of steps that will help you:
digital-art-398342_1280.jpg

  • The first step: understanding why they are needed.

It's pretty strange, but you need to take care of yourself. Understanding the self-image will help you to rationally react to events. This of course contradicts what you were taught. But, watching the relationship of the majority, you will begin to understand that this makes sense.

Do not have to think about what other people are doing, you need to think about how you will react to it. In no case should you try to remake another person, it is better these forces and time to spend on yourself.

Although it sounds a little selfish, but first you need to love yourself. And only then will it be possible to build relationships with other people. And how is it to love yourself?

To do this, you need to feel that you are worthy of the best that is on Earth. After this, it will be possible to show your best qualities to other people. Conclusion: you can not build relationships with other people, because you do not really love yourself.

Until you learn to love yourself, you will not experience the same emotions towards others. Until you see something in yourself, you will not see this in others.

  • The second step: concentrating on yourself

In relations there are no such concepts as duty and responsibility. Duty and responsibilities bind you, and opportunities give freedom. You can not do something out of a sense of duty: it leads to an end. In relations, do not always take: you need also to give. Give what promotes the manifestation of the best qualities (opportunities, lessons, experiences).

You should understand that it is necessary to build relationships only when you find a person next to whom you become better.

img: pixabay.com

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I actually just learned this in real life. I was in a relationship for two and a half years in which both of us entered the relationship while unhappy with our own selves and our life situations. I don't know if she realizes this now, but I definitely see that I was not happy with myself, and I used her to create that happiness that I was lacking. This is why we were never truly happy together. There were always negativities under the surface that we both tried to not notice. Also, we had many expectations for eachother, which, for about two years, we both were really trying to fulfill for the other. In the last half year it became obvious (to me) that we were not actually fulfilling these expectations, and we both gave up. This caused terrible animocity between us, and it was so sad to see. Everthing you say here is absolutely true, and it helps me to see it so well articulated as I try to collect closure by myself. Wish me luck getting over this. Thanks!

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