I actually just learned this in real life. I was in a relationship for two and a half years in which both of us entered the relationship while unhappy with our own selves and our life situations. I don't know if she realizes this now, but I definitely see that I was not happy with myself, and I used her to create that happiness that I was lacking. This is why we were never truly happy together. There were always negativities under the surface that we both tried to not notice. Also, we had many expectations for eachother, which, for about two years, we both were really trying to fulfill for the other. In the last half year it became obvious (to me) that we were not actually fulfilling these expectations, and we both gave up. This caused terrible animocity between us, and it was so sad to see. Everthing you say here is absolutely true, and it helps me to see it so well articulated as I try to collect closure by myself. Wish me luck getting over this. Thanks!