I honestly feel for you. I have been where you are in the past. Actually truth be told I am probably still there. Hang in there I am growing quickly and will give you big votes lol. Not funny but we have to be positive and just do our best. Why are we like this? The morals get in the way only for the few. Personally if you are backed up against a wall and it's your family we understand. Do what you have to do for the time being if needed we know it's not the true you.