I like your honest writing my man, and congrats on your growing steemit family. I'm grateful that I also realized how funked up I was, and after about a decade of un funking it's not such a big deal anymore (kinda rough at the start though). I guess the thing is, you did it! Alot of us don't get started because we don't want to admit that we funked up, and put ourselves in this position to begin with. Consciousness looking back at unconsciousness or some such, I guess that is where all these practices of forgiveness and acceptance come in.