Ulog #32: When The Country Girl Married The City Boy: The Story Of Us
Despite the fact that my husband and I attended the same high school many years ago; we never knew each other back then. He had graduated the year before I started my freshman year.
While raising my three children (and still married to their father) we moved from the BIG city to small little town. You know the kind... a blinking light, a post office, one little convenience store, two bars, a hardware store, a gas station and a few other various little main street shops. Nothing to write home about, but it was exactly where I wanted to live
After my divorce, I stayed in the same little town. I had created a life there. My kids were settled into their school; I actually had a job at the school as a paraprofessional teacher's aide, did some substitute teaching and even... yes, drove school bus for a few years.
We, me and the kids, had all settled into a nice little life there. I started my first ever garden, which grew larger and larger every year on the 5-acres of land I owned. We had a nice four-bedroom turn-of-the-century farmhouse with a one-car garage, tool shed, corn crib and my son's chicken coops. We were living the life I had always dreamed of and wanted.
After my kids graduated from high school, started their own lives and families and moved out... I met my current husband. (believe it or not... as much as I don't care for or like Facebook... that's where we first made contact).
It started out as chatting and talking about common people we knew. He knew my brother but not me; and I knew his brother but not him. We eventually exchanged phone numbers and started talking and texting daily. This was in October. He lived down south in Georgia (having relocated in 2006 when the industry he worked in was bad- so he followed the jobs). I live in the north in Michigan.
In the middle of December, he decided to come up to Michigan to visit his family... and me.
We spent four days together... and discovered we had many common interests just as we had some opposite interests.
I had lived in the country rural setting and lifestyle for over a decade and a half before we met and he had always been a city guy.
- He liked to go out to eat.. I preferred to stay home.
- He liked to go to places (casino, flea markets, anywhere)...I preferred to save money
- He liked to buy EVERY thing new.., I re-used, re-purposed and recycled EVERY thing I could
- He had one awesome paying job... I was working two jobs at the time and getting by
- He drove a newer truck... I had Loser Cruiser #5 (minivan)
- He was a city guy... I was a country girl
I made my own laundry soap, he bought name brand stuff. I preserved and canned my garden's harvest. He bought... Ragu! I saved all my glass jars from pickles to pour my bulk beans and rice into for storage, he paid $20 for a piece of plastic with a seal-able lid.
Over the years, especially since we married almost six years ago... we have met in the middle.
I go with him to public places (a Detroit Lions game two years ago or a trip to the casino every so often) and he lets me garden, grow in my greenhouses and even has started using my homemade salves, tinctures and other concoctions. We have compromised.
We don't live in the big city. We live in a rural town- population of about 10,000 residents. Halfway between the city and the farm fields.
Some day, when he retires, we do plan on moving very rural. He is starting to see more of my way of life and living. He tires of the crowds, the traffic and lack of privacy.
All images are my own
I LOVED your story! I was raised in the country, on a small farm. My husband was raised in Orlando, FL. We met via mutual friends in 1976. Been together ever since.
He had moved to new England when he was 16 and a friend invited him to help with haying on the grandparents' farm. He was smitten with their off grid lifestyle. So I guess it was inevitable we would own a farm and eventually raise most of our own food and be as self sufficient as we can.
I liked the part about your husband coming to value a more rural lifestyle. :))
You know... I always tell my husband that if we had met back then imagine how much different our lives could have been together 30+ years together... then he counters with "yeah, but we had to be married to other people to be who we are today"... _makes sense to me on some levels.
Your story is so sweet! I love hearing the how we met stories- they always warm my heart and soul.
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@goldendawne this is such a sweet story, thank you for sharing :) Marriage is certainly about compromise isn't it? Great to see he is beginning to see the value in keeping it down to earth and from the home :)
Oh yes marriage is all about compromise and giving in sometimes. It's also being willing to accept the other person, and their faults, for what they are.
Yes I am thrilled at his change in the wanting to live away from the masses.
I grew up in a semi-rural area. There were no farmers in my family but I decided that I wanted to marry one. Not a certain guy in particular, just a farmer or rancher, someday. I decided that I needed to have good farm skills so I learned to cook, can, and pickle things. Learned to harvest, dry, and use herbs for teas, tinctures, and salves. I tried making quilts, very sad results there, so I turned to crochet.
And who did I marry? A city boy, an army brat, whose family moved every few years so they never had a family pet, much less a garden! So my dreams of farm life now revolve around my backyard garden but I still practice my 'farm skills'!
Loved your story!
Oh so sorry your rancher/farmer dream didn't work out... but you still have the man of your dreams.
Keep on honing in on those skills!
I LOVE learning new skills that I never knew I could- and hubby supports me 100% with every little silly venture.
I have a good man, farmer or not, I don't hold it against him. :-) He says if we were pioneers he'd be well fed. But he'd take care of the horses. As if he knew more about horses than gardening?
Yes, I like learning new things and following the interesting gardening and herbal things and crafts you do!
Hello that is a lovely story it is nice to see even if you are from the country and him from the city you can meet in the middle:)
Wow, that is such a beautiful story! I really appreciate the compromise in the middle. That's what our world needs so much right now. Thanks for being an amazing example.
I enjoyed hearing more about your homesteading backstory and got a good laugh from the "Loser Cruiser"!!
What a GREAT story, & I hope MORE city people see this & start to wonder.
I've never been a country girl myself, but I love nature & haven't been around it for sooo long, which is just one reason why our bodies are so toxic.
I like a combination of both, but since I'm holistic through and through, & the government and EVIL CORPS are poisoning us, the ONLY solution is to move to the country and start farming.
And why shouldn't we?
We can do this as a community and help one another with micro farms, we don't need to do this all by ourselves.
Kudos on the wonderful relationship you seem to have, & I'm glad he's starting to see that a quieter healthy way of life is more beneficial.
Thank you!!
Oh don't get me started on the governments' rules and regulations.... especially for people who want to be LESS dependent on the government... I can get on my soapbox and NEVER come down!
Yes... he is starting to come around more and more every day
LOL - I'm TOTALLY anti gov't, so I'm sure we could have a WHOLE discussion about how the gov't is ruining our lives : )
But, most people don't understand, that this is what they are there for.
I've been studying this topic for a couple of years now. I still am trying to get to the bottom of who is causing all the stress in the world.
It's not actually the gov't, but there needs to be a face & that's IT!
What irks me is that people literally worship the gov't even though it's CLEAR we are their slaves.
They just can't IMAGINE a world WITHOUT someone controlling them & then they get angry at people who WANT freedom & a better life.
Slave to the lender
Big corporations combined with government side deals, the way the big pharma companies have people with easily remedied illness hooked on their so-called miracle pills... the opioid epidemic... the regulations smothering the little people... how agencies sue homesteaders for not wanting to use and pay for public utilities... they are all connected. And let's just toss in a little bit of the financial sector too- unsecured credit cards to keep people slave to the 9-5... high sub-prime loans because the government bailed out the auto and financial industries years ago so now those who were killed in the crisis ten years ago are paying more for banks mistakes... yeah... we could go on and on
its like reading my own story with a few things diff. i love the way life goes and we addept to the things we love as we get older. My husband and me love the country and with one chick leaving the nest still 3 under my hens wings. i the country loving the fact people say hi.
LOve the story and it gave me a smile on a very cold day here in holland.
love britt
I adore meeting stories. Everyone has one - they are fascinating insights into people. I love how people connect and sparks fly. I have a crazy meeting story that fascinates people, and I can remember the whole thing soooo clearly, just as if it was yesterday
It sounds like you two found each other for a reason - opposites or not, there's clealry something that makes you work together. Compromise is SO IMPORTANT in every relationship!
I just loved reading this! Compromise truly is one of the biggest keys to building a solid relationship.