If you have to tell your parents that you are pregnant - Information for teenagers

It can be a huge shock if you discover that you or your girlfriend is pregnant.  You can be scared and shocked and you know that you will have to tell your parents, but how will you do it?

               

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The idea of having to give your parents this news can be terrifying, because maybe they had no idea that you were sexually active, or they forbid you to see your boyfriend and now this happens.  You know that are going to be cross and hurt and have no idea how they will react.

The first thing you need to remember is that they will be shocked and you will have to give them time to come with terms with the news.  They can even react in a way where they say mean or insulting things, before they calm down and you can come to a solution.

 Your parents' personalities also play a part in how they'll react. Some parents are easy to talk to or calmer in a crisis. Some are more emotional, more easily stressed out, more likely to get upset or angry, to yell or cry, or express themselves loudly. 

If you know that your parents are prone to violence, you can imagine that they will get violent when you give them the news and you will have to be prepared to protect yourself.  You can ask another adult to be present when you tell them, or first tell them in private and let them calm down, before you face them.  You can also speak to somebody at the clinic that can help you with sharing this news with your parents.  If your parents decide that you have to leave the house, make sure you have a few people in mind that will be prepared to help you and give you help and a place to stay.

Most parents, luckily, will be supportive, even if they at first cry or shout.  Once they calm down, they will accept it and be prepared to help you.  If the father of the baby is owning up to his responsibility, he will be with you when you tell your parents and this can also help.

If you have told them, you will need to give them time to have their say.  Even if it means they cry and shout.  Keep quiet and let them get it all out.  Do not take part in a screaming match, because that is not going to solve anything.  Your parents need some time to get over the shock.

Once everybody has calmed down, you can be honest with them and tell them how you feel.  Admit to them that you feel scared, you know you have disappointed them, or hurt them even if you did not mean to and that most of all you need their help. Admit to them that you feel confused and do not know what to do.

 Putting your feelings into words takes plenty of maturity and it's not easy to do. Don't worry if the words don't come out perfectly or if you cry or get emotional as you're saying them. It can help to think about your feelings ahead of time. If you can't imagine expressing your feelings out loud, consider writing them down in a letter. 

Speak to your parents about the options you have and decisions you need to make concerning the baby.  Will you keep the baby?  If you keep it, how will you be able to go to school and take care of the baby?  Will they help you financially?  Must you leave school and find a job?  Will you give the baby up for adoption?  

These are decision that need to be made, but it does not have to be made the same day you tell them you are pregnant.  You and your parents and your partner and his parents can all have an input once everybody has dealt with the news.

You can read more here on your options and how to be responsible.

Once you have decided on an option you will have to accept your decision.  If you decide to keep the baby, you will have days when you feel ready and excited and other days where you are scared and confused.  Make sure you have a support system, be it your parents, your friend, boyfriend or his parents, but this is a time when you will need somebody to talk to and know that somebody will be there if you need help.

If you have decided on an adoption or abortion, you will need to make sure that you have someone to speak to about the emotional influence such a decision will have on your.

Talking to parents whenever you can is a good way to sort through the many feelings and issues that arise. In the best of situations, parents can help you make important decisions and support your choices. They can be a source of guidance and encouragement. 

Many times, something like this can bring your whole family closer together, where you stand together and help one another cope with the news, but it can also have a negative effect on a family,

You know the saying 'If you play with fire, you will burn'?  Do not be irresponsible or stupid and believe that this will never happen to you.  You can have sex once and get pregnant, so if you are reading this and you are sexually active but not yet pregnant, make sure you practice safe sex.

Read here for more information on safe sex.