Parenthood is hard. Motherhood is messy. Gone were the days when I could wake up slowly, breathe a little, pray and meditate awhile, looked at the mirror and had some cute self-talk, slowly trimmed my eyebrow, made 'em shiny those nail, etc.

Now, it is wake-up-and-be-on-the-go, go go go, this and that, from the start of waking up to the end of the day of flat punctured tyre.

So when I saw @steemitmamas' Write-Along on 'Giving a Health Advice', I procrastinated, I delayed. But why am I writing it now? Because I could not sleep back after tube-feeding my son. Hence, I was here, lying on bed and thinking "gone is my sleep" and we are supposed to have enough sleep to have good health, duh... And I am writing health advice here? Ops..

Maybe mamas don't always get good enough sleep, especially those with babies or toddlers where your sleep can be deprived due to waking up few times to attend to your babies; colicky, wet diapers, breastfeed, any random cries...the list goes on.

So how do we maintain our health? Let's not talk about eat good and drink enough water, we mamas know that well. Ironically, sometimes we ensure our children and family eat good and have sufficient water but we ourselves do not live up to it. Haha!

For me, these few advice are handy enough to aid me in my sanity. It is more of mental and emotional health knowing that mamas' feeling are always being thrown out of the window, considering we usually think of our children and family first. By the time we have time to think for ourselves, we just want to sleep. LOL

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1. Try not to compare

I know it is difficult when the grass of our neighbours are always greener than ours. But I have learned that comparing myself to others will kill of my spirit. We have different strength. And we have different weakness. What you see or what you read on people's Facebook, Steemit or Instagram are always the best version of them. So do not think your life sucks just because you can't come out with that sort of food, you can't travel like that mama, you can't have that Barbie Doll figure like her. Enough of comparing yourself to others especially other mamas. You are enough! Just like the saying goes, "Be-YOU-tiful". You are the best version of yourself. You may be not perfect but you are the only you. Irreplaceable. Period.

2. Know you have tried your best

Not everything you plan may work out. Sometimes, to make things worse, everything goes haywire just because of one unforeseen circumstance. Maybe your child gets sick. Maybe you are not well. Maybe you have a quarrel with your spouse. Or your child fails in his or her exam. Just recently my son got back his exam paper. And he didn't do well in his language subject, although I did not tell him so not to pressurised him. He is only 7 years old. He got 40 marks out of 100. I knew it was my mistake for not spending enough time to do revision with him. I was trying my best to juggle between many things at home. Taking care of Jansen is already quite taxing (don't ever tell him that). At the end of the day, dear mamas, please know that you have tried your best. And if no one show appreciation, you appreciate yourself. Pat your shoulder and said "you have tried your best." Mamas' job is the greatest endowment on earth, I think so. Peace. Fine, daddy too. Okay, fine, teachers too.

3. Throw that guilt out

Okay, so your children had tantrums. Your husband was busy. And you had meltdown. And you blah out unpleasant word, not intended, but it came out of your mouth. We mamas have our bad days too. If you know me well, I like to equate it with "hulk mama day". Yes there were times, in fact, many times, I transformed into a hulk. No mamas look pretty in green. Not hulk green. And then we felt guilty for not being a caring gentle mama. Well, after feeling sorry, Iearn to not being sabotaged by guilt. Because guilt dampens my mama spirit. Guilt makes me think I am the worse mama. Guilt asks me to see myself uglier than I think I am. So toss that guilt away. Put it into dishwasher and wash them all out. No guilt. No pity party too. Whether is it you always pack food for home instead of home cook, whether do you provide enough or spend enough time for family etc, just don't let guilt stalk you. Remember point 1 & 2, you do not need to compare or think others are always better than you, and know you have tried your best.

4. Find moments to slow down and have me-time

This is challenging too especially if your hands are full and multitasking left and right. But try to do it at least a few moment in a week. Let me share with you mine. Sometimes I park at my car park longer, just to wind down and listen to some songs or radio talk show, read devotional articles and my bible. Laugh a little. Crazy a few minutes. Sometimes, I staycation in toilet longer than usual. Just to spare some me-time. Counting hairs. Look into space. Pray. Sing. Do whatever. Browse Steemit. Check discord. You get the idea. Just be careful don't wet your mobile phone. Haha. Just love yourself more each day. Or trim the armpit hair? Maybe..

5. Be thankful

I have come across a sharing on Facebook about this and it helps me tonnes. Especially when there are so many tasks to do yet time is not enough to use. Or you feel overwhelmed by noises and circumstance around you.

When the children are noisy or worse still, fighting and whining, try to give thanks knowing that they are alive. Many children are born not healthy and are fighting their lives at ICU, intubated, not able to speak or make any noise at all.

When laundry piled up, give thanks we have clothing to wear. Some have not and need to dig clothes from the rubbish.

When house are dirty and messy, give thanks we have a house to clean. Many are homeless living in the street, dirty yet they can't clean the mess.

When babies poo at the wrong time, give thanks. Some children have intestine problem or poo system disease and can't poo and need surgery to fix it.

When children talk to you non-stop, it is frustrating but give thanks, for one day they will have their friends to talk too and may not need you anymore.

Many more ways to you can give thanks according to your situation. Create a few for yourself. It helps long way.

6. Remember all the advice/compliment you tell your child/children/friends/colleague/Steemian, and do it unto/tell yourself the same thing

Drink more water.
You must eat veggies and fruit.
Fail then try again.
It is alright.
Try again.
Good job!
You are so clever.
You are so good in this.
So nice lah you.
More hugs.
More kisses.

Thank you for your time reading the above tips and advice. It may or may not applicable for you. And feel free to comment should there be any addition to what I have just shared. Cheers. 😍

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://iamjadeline.vornix.blog/2018/09/15/mental-health-advice-steemitmamas-write-along/

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