It doesn't pay to live life thinking on regrets too much - you may end up spending your precious remaining time regretting and not living thus repeating the mistake of wasting your life.

Time to forgive yourself and form a plan.

To start with be selfish have a day and go walk about, pick a random place nearby that's along way away, so 10 Miles...pack a day bag go for a walk and think. When you walk with destination in mind, with a purpose there is joy at the end of the adventure - allow yourself to have joy mate.

All the best.