This little alien

Two and a half years ago, this little alien came into the world to change lives forever. Of course, I don't call her a little alien, I call her bunnybear, cutieface, monkeyhead and a hundred other names that aren't officially hers. I only use her name when she is in trouble :)

It is quite silly to predict what she will end up doing in her life as an adult based on what she is good at or enjoys now because, there are so many variables and unknowns that will affect continually to push and pull the future this way and that. The only thing I can predict and consider accurate is that no matter what happens in life, until death I will do all I can to help her discover the best of herself - how she uses my effort is up to her of course and, I expect nothing in return.

As they say, charity starts at home.

Most people don't really think about that statement much but as I see it, it talks about the expectation of return in giving and if charitable giving, there can be no expectation past the hand over. If I give ten euros to a homeless drunk and say, "buy a meal", I cannot expect him to actually do that. Of course, being charitable doesn't mean one has to give indiscriminately to anyone in need because, everyone is in need of something.

It is up to each individual to choose how, when and to what extent that charity will extend and whether it is a charity in the moment with a return in the future (an investment in someone) or a giving without any expectation of repayment in any form whatsoever. There are many types of charity and it isn't just in the form of financial value.

Someone could be charitable with their time, perspective or information delivered. Someone could be charitable with their energy put into the development of something that benefits others, even if they too get a return. As I see it, there is always a return on the charitable transaction, even if it is a feeling of doing the right thing or, the reduction of the feeling of not doing the right thing. Yep, people can give to avoid the guilt of not giving too.

However, to give one has to hold something of value worth giving, something that the person in need can use to satisfy that need. A monetary act of charity to someone bleeding out from a stab wound on the floor is not very helpful. A lot of people say that people should give more but, are they themselves charitable with their own resources or, have they consumed them all and expect those who haven't to provide extra - to give one must have and those who consume all they get cannot be charitable with what they do not have. It doesn't matter if it is time, energy or money.

But again, being charitable is about the needs of the receiver which means being able to offer something suitable for those needs, a hungry person requires food and in the long-term, a way to get food without having to rely on the goodwill of others. This means that the hungry person has to find ways to provide for themselves, this is a personal investment process.

The goal for my little alien is that I am able to invest into her future so that she has options available to her with the main one being the skills and understanding required to be able to provide for herself without having to constantly rely on others for her provisions. This goes beyond money because her needs will go beyond money too.

There are seemingly a lot of depressed and lonely people in this world and part of the reason for this is that the learning and understanding taught hasn't covered the need for human intimacy, personal connection with others. The focus is often on the material needs, the things one is able to buy, not what can't be purchased. True friends can't be bought and for relationships to be strong, they need to be built, nurtured, maintained.

It seems, Ain't nobody got the time for that.

People are moving so fast through life with a constant stream of attention seeking behavior in and out that they don't realize that they they are actually walking alone until one day, they wake up and find themselves lonely. More retail therapy needed is the obvious solution, a little more distraction from the root problem.

What are the chances of children growing to have the skills to develop and appreciate fulfilling human relationships if for the most part, their is no demonstration of it? If you think that advertising affects young minds and society, take a look in the mirror and your own actions to see just what you are advertising. Are you a model of something to aspire to? Do you portray healthy body image, economic behavior or the way to develop strong relationships? Perhaps stop blaming the magazines that you buy.

When it comes to the influences on children, peers supposedly have more power than parents in later life, but I would suspect that the early stages with parents is where most of the skills about how they interact with peers is established. All the words in the world are meaningless if behavior doesn't demonstrate an example of at least an attempt to improve this world.

While imperfect in my approach, I hope my little alien will grow to live a good human life which means, not becoming alienated and understanding that she has a place and value in the ecosystem that affects the world that follows in her footsteps. @smallsteps as they may be.

While she will learn a lot from me, I am her follower for as long as I can keep up.