The web I want to weave is one of impact, depth and joy. There have been moments in my life when I live from the core of my meaning and as it pulses through me I remember that a central reason for life is to feel the flow of gratitude in the exchange. This earth-life is not always easy, but some things remain as constants and the abundance of the earth is one of these. It's my reason for breathing to midwife this abundance and to share it, to remind, to inhabit.

Spider Song

Spider web hanging heavy with this morning's dew.

Have you ever watched a spider weave its web?

Just last night, Ini and I made a late night trip to the outdoor kitchen and as I turned around with my light, I nearly ran into a huge spider's web and a spider with a body (not including legs) the size of a dime sat at it's center.

Watching a spider weave its web is tantamount to the highest art. Their fibers are impossibly strong and they weave with such precision and skill I am invariably left amazed.

Have you ever walked through a spider's web?

When we first walked the land that we now call home, it was Autumn and there were an abundance of spider's in the woods. I walked up and down the forested hill apologizing the whole time. There were so many webs, no matter where I walked, I bounded through one, catching it on my face, mouth and eyes. I apologized with webs in my mouth because all of that weaving was gone to naught because of me, a tromping human.

But have you ever seen a spider mourn the loss of a web?

Usually, when they get caught on my body when I accidentally walk through their webs, they rappel down at a lightening speed, landing on the ground on their own terms. I haven't seen a spider lose sleep over a lost web. They just begin again.

Sacred Datura with moth wing black flecks

It brings up an interesting aspect about the nature of creativity. We humans make a big hubbub at times making sure something is "perfect" (as if it can ever be) and hem and haw whether something is "good enough", even ourselves- I know I do this with my creative outpouring. I've even had severe roadblocks toward creativity and had the dreaded dry spells where the inspiration doth not flow. In some ways, I think it comes down to the fact that we take it all too seriously, we think that what we create permanently marks us, that by creating something it will speak for us forever.

Watching the spider, I see another element of creativity in the ease with which a spider repairs a torn web (or continues using it) and even moreso in the frequency with which a spider weaves. The spider reminds us, if once you don't succeed, begin again. If something gets torn down, begin again. In our culture of perfection we are taught that only "really skilled" people deserve to write, to make art, to create and the rest just consume. "Oh, I couldn't do that, I just have no talent," is a phrase I've heard a lot in life. I just don't buy it. I propose that we all, like the spider, have the capacity to create and I believe even the drive.

Marigold, Tulsi

At the core root of life we are each weaving our webs, the shape of our lives which we inhabit.

We are handed the raw materials and to each person they're a bit different. It's my belief that all of the challenges, triumphs, sore spots, wounds, talents, skills, lineages, etc are all intricately woven together to manifest as our highest callings. It is the raw stuff of our lives that we're given, the sadnesses that compel us, the grief that teaches or the things we see in darkness, just as much as our light and easy talents. These are the stories of our lives and we all deserve a chance to tell these stories. As Toko-pa Turner, one of my favorite authors says in her new book "Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home” (belongingbook.com),

"Just as fire can transform food from its raw form into something digestible, our darknesses are radical transformers. Instead of airbrushing our personalities, we should practice at exaggerating our blemishes, leaning into our stagnancy, wounding, and discomforts. If we really want to evolve, all we have to do is be more expressly where we are.

As an Ambassadress of the Darkness, my message to embrace these uncomfortable emotions is sometimes misinterpreted as an invitation to wallow, or let your base impulses run wild. But what I’m really talking about is getting out from under spiritual override long enough to acknowledge the validity of your feelings. Yessing your conflict doesn’t mean staying in it. It means making a compassionate encounter with your difficult feelings until they reveal their hidden intelligence.

For most of us, enlightenment isn’t a sudden awakening, but a slow process of shining the light of consciousness onto those rejected, forgotten, and denied places within."

Spider's web in the woods

Tell me a bit about the web you are weaving. Share some of your dreamscape below...

_{All photos taken on the homestead this morning.}