Ulog Entry #9 - Finding Personal Fulfillment
Today I feel like I've lost it again. I am lying in my bed thinking about the things I should be worrying about. How I feel like I'm missing out on life, the people surrounding me, the present, the future, everything. I think I have lost it again. It being my ability to focus on the present and not worrying about what could go wrong in the future.
Today I feel like the emotions I have been bottling deep inside have finally been set free. Like a ship with a tiny crack, and now I feel like I am sinking. I am a person who keeps on fulfilling her responsibilities even if deep inside I am suffering, instead of crying I would keep myself busy. But today,I lost it. The strength, I lost it. The motivation, I lost it. I lost it all. I think my heart is like a fragile glass, you pour and pour until you can no longer hold it. Then you blame yourself for having a smaller glass.
It is difficult. It is difficult when you got other's back when you don't even have yours. When you are the one who comforts instead of being comforted. When you feel weak and fragile, you will hate yourself. In times like this,I read a book but now I am reading the letters without understanding. In times like this, I listen to a song, but now I can't even hear the words. And I am so sorry for talking about this but I think I should post it today so in the future, I will be able to tell myself how strong am I for surpassing it all.
I know I am going to find the energy to have it again. To find positivity. To believe in myself. To believe that there are greater things ahead. Maybe soon, maybe later. I don't know but what I truly am sure about is: I know I will.
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Ulog Entry #8
About @reewritesthings:
Ree is a twenty-two-year-old Cebuana who lives in the Pearl of the Orient Seas. She spends most of her free time having her head buried in a book, watching movies, learning modern calligraphy and writing poems. Also, a lover of science and engineering.
Am I too late to comment? Its already 6 days ago. I hope you're feeling better now. Its normal to lost it, when you make others laugh but you are crying inside. When you lost the motivation I am always experiencing it but when I list the good things happened in my life compared to bad, the
blessings outnumbered the bad things, In this way I will be able to pick myself again. Everything is temporary, this too shall pass;
You are right. Everything is temporary, I just hope this shall pass quickly. Thanks for your words. <3
welcome. You are stronger than you think, you've already reach that far.. whatever you're going through, it will make you more stronger:) God's plan never goes wrong:) I think its the best time to bring out those journals, writing is therapeutic..
Thank you so much @orhem <3