Attention Everyone: I Have Decided To Sell My Eyes
Good afternoon or whatever.
My name is @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself.
Today I have a very special announcement. If you possess superior deductive reasoning skills, you may have already figured out what I am about to say. For those who are a little bit behind the curve, please pay close attention or you will not be able to figure out why you are here, now.
The announcement will be made shortly. Are you fully prepared for receiving an announcement? If not, I'd like to suggest you take the time to perform all necessary measures. If you do not know what is required of you to be able to receive an announcement properly, please refer to your owner's manual, page 42. If you have misplaced your owner's manual, please call 911 immediately and explain your situation to one our friendly representatives.
This paragraph is your final warning. The announcement is on it's way. Any injury or loss of life beyond this point due to mismanaged announcement receiving preparations shall be considered the sole responsibility of the applicant.
The Official Announcement
Strap in, let's go.
My eyes are for sale.
If you would like to purchase my eyes, simply send 1 SBD to the wallet of @nonameslefttouse. In the field of 'memo', include the link to the post you wish to apply my eyes to. Once all is said and done, my eyes will be transferred to your post and from there I will look. If I like what I see, I might vote. If I do not like what I see, I will not vote. If I get there and see a picture of a penis or an insult directed towards yours truly, I will downvote the post and call the authorities. No refunds.
Bonus Offer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For a limited time only, send another 2 SBD to the wallet of @nonameslefttouse with included link to post within field of 'memo' and you will receive one of three prewritten comments. Comments may not always be of a positive nature. $3.99 for each additional comment. Please inquire internally for full conversation packages. No refunds.
Conclusion
This concludes everything you've just read. If you are of misunderstandings, feel free to send 1 SBD to the wallet of @nonameslefttouse with the code 'help' fastened to the field of 'memo' and you will be given instructions on how to unlock the top portion of this announcement.
Thank you for nice day.
The times aren't what they used to be... Now one has to PAY to have someone peer through their window. What is this world coming to...
Pay per view is the future of the world.
Very clear view.
My windows are dirty.
Damn manual! I knew I should have saved it. I had to sell it man. Times are hard.
You were told at birth to never sell the manual. The authorities are on their way and you will be ticketed.
Sorry, didn't have the full SBD to send, but I had a post which looked like it could use a few votes. I had to encrypt it though, too secret.
Edit: Actually... here you go https://steemit.com/life/@nonameslefttouse/day-one-defeated
That brings back some embarrassing memories. I did everything I said I'd do though.
I am a witch. I see you are selling eyes, but I need a glottis. If you have a glottis in stock, I have several eyes that I can trade you at a discount (no limitations, you can resell them). Cornea not included.
Posted using Partiko Android
Fresh out of glottis. Would you be interested a pinna or a glabella?
Ooof. I have all I need of those thanks. Hope you find some buyers for your eyeballs!
Sure beats selling my ass.
The speaker store, Sure Beats is selling your ass? Hm.
I do love a rump roast. But internet personality flesh tends to be a bit too gamey.
Posted using Partiko Android
I think you stumbled onto something good here... Hey! Maybe we could automate it!
I could easily automate this procedure but I'd have to capitalize my eyes. Eyes. See, it's different, and I don't have to look now because it's a corporation.
Why is page 42 always the one that is missing!?
Because page 41 talks about toilet paper alternatives. Major flaw in design.
Phew, that's a relief! There's always a good explanation
Yup. It's just too bad they flush that explanation down the toilet every goddamn time.
At least it's thin paper. It wouldn't do to have blockages
Nothing worse than having to stick your hand down the shitter pipe to retrieve the nasties.
Indeed, especially when you are smoking a cigar at the same time and for a dreadful moment get all confused
Oh the ole thought it was a cigar but it was actually a piece of shit routine huh. I hate when that happens.
🤣🤣🤣 That's friggin hilarious.
How long is this offer open for? It appears the post I was going to link to, has already had the privilege of receiving your eyes. As well as an upvote. Thanks for that!
This offer is open for as long as I can see. And yes I was over there recently, browsing through the merchandise, making a mess of your shelves.
Indeed the purest form of bullshit, the real send xx sbd to yyyyy wallet one.
Though you get a vote for the parody sir!
Thanks! And no, those aren't typos!
So you want to compete with the bot eh? LOL
@nonameslefttouse
Hell yeah. I'm taking this business to the moon and leaving these bots here in hell to rot.
Nothing is free 😝, even blessings...
Would you like a free response?
Nope, everything has a price now on the blockchain :)
Please send 1 SBD for previous response and 2 SBD for this response.