Sometimes raising a baby or child is difficult, and nothing goes well at the time. We provide for their basic needs, give them attention, and do everything we can, yet they are grumpy. We can't talk to them when they can't yet speak to understand them more, and even when they start we can't get them to explain things to us fully.

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We have a hard time knowing what they want. They have bad moments like everyone, but we must not get frustrated at them. How do we keep our cool when they lose theirs?

Here are 10 tips for when your having difficulty with your child.

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1) Breath before responding

It might seem stupid, but it helps to change the way you deal with the situation. A child can get on your nerves, which often results in spontaneous and automatic responses. But taking a few seconds to breath and calm down before responding you reduce the risk of regretting what your going to say, or do.

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2) Take the child on a trip/stroll

Get out and take some air together. Changing the scenery might be enough to change their behavior. If you go out in a baby sling, there is the bonus of caressing and giving the child a hug which is usually beneficial to change their mood.

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3) There's a reason, even if you don't find it

The child doesn't do what they do to simply piss you off. That day might be a difficult day for some reason. You might find out the next day(s) that they were in the beginning of an illness or that a tooth started to grow. They don't do things just to taunt you (unlike later on in their lives hehe).

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4) Sing

Channel and express your frustration by singing instead of a sharp or angry tone or yell directed at them. This helps to wind things down, both for yourself and the baby, and can be a fun time for both of you.

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5) Imagine a better past moment with your child

Remember some past moment where you felt deep love for your child. This helps you to take a moment and distance yourself from feeling the frustration of the present moment.

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6) Help the infant express their malcontent

Maybe they need to just let loose a bit physically. Let them use and express their energy by running, jumping or other means to spend their energy or frustration. You can also teach them to hit an anger cushion if that's what they need, and only that cushion for that release. When they get older, they can draw their frustration or in crafting with clay or playdoh.

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7) Remember they are still young

They can't easily communicate what isn't going well for them. When young, things are more emotional in communication. Feelings are felt more strongly, and they don't think or reason much or well like yourself. Logical arguments have little significance for them to pay attention to and go over their heads.

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8) Provide options

When they don't want to get dressed, give them an option between two things, or what they want to start getting dressed with first. Let them choose with their will, rather than bring everything on at your will. This way they can feel they have some control and autonomy in a world where very little is being decided by themselves.

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9) Don't neglect non-verbal communication

So, you didn't get upset, great, but we don't always communicate with words. There are also sighs, annoyed faces, abrupt gestures. We can engage in more positive expressions like warm glances, smiles and confident expressions. Which do you prefer to communicate to them?

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10) Turn it into a game

Maybe they dump the clothes from their drawer and show they are frustrated and show the need to let off some steam. You can pretend to be shocked and devastated by what they did without being too serious about it, but in a humorous and theatrical way. Put everything back in the drawer and play a few rounds until they feel better. Then they can help put them back the final time when they are in a good mood.

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Nonviolent parenting is important to keep building a loving and trusting relationship with our children. We might not be violating their rights, but there it's a term to represent an aggressive position or stance in responding to children who don't know better. We can keep expressing positive communication signals to them and help them overcome their temperamental moods, brining each other back into harmony and moving forward.

Building a strong familial bond helps to protect our families and strengthen them from outside influence that can lead children onto negative pathways later on. This is both for keeping parents aligned with their children and not doing stupid things, and also keeps children from being influenced by others to diverge from parental guidance into bad behavior that gets them in trouble. The last thing we want is for our children to get in trouble by acting out from our failures or from troubled youths who influence them, least of all Child Protective Services getting involved in some way for whatever bogus reason.

Raising responsible and integrated children starts from birth. We need to do our best as parents in order to ensure the best outcomes for them. It all starts with us and our influence towards them. They are blank slates in many cases, and we need to influence them in the best way possible.

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References:

• Mes 10 astuces en cas de difficultés avec un petit

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Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.

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