Nonviolent Parenting Tips for Dealing With a Difficult Infant

in #children6 years ago (edited)

Sometimes raising a baby or child is difficult, and nothing goes well at the time. We provide for their basic needs, give them attention, and do everything we can, yet they are grumpy. We can't talk to them when they can't yet speak to understand them more, and even when they start we can't get them to explain things to us fully.


Source

We have a hard time knowing what they want. They have bad moments like everyone, but we must not get frustrated at them. How do we keep our cool when they lose theirs?

Here are 10 tips for when your having difficulty with your child.


1) Breath before responding

It might seem stupid, but it helps to change the way you deal with the situation. A child can get on your nerves, which often results in spontaneous and automatic responses. But taking a few seconds to breath and calm down before responding you reduce the risk of regretting what your going to say, or do.


2) Take the child on a trip/stroll

Get out and take some air together. Changing the scenery might be enough to change their behavior. If you go out in a baby sling, there is the bonus of caressing and giving the child a hug which is usually beneficial to change their mood.


3) There's a reason, even if you don't find it

The child doesn't do what they do to simply piss you off. That day might be a difficult day for some reason. You might find out the next day(s) that they were in the beginning of an illness or that a tooth started to grow. They don't do things just to taunt you (unlike later on in their lives hehe).


4) Sing

Channel and express your frustration by singing instead of a sharp or angry tone or yell directed at them. This helps to wind things down, both for yourself and the baby, and can be a fun time for both of you.


5) Imagine a better past moment with your child

Remember some past moment where you felt deep love for your child. This helps you to take a moment and distance yourself from feeling the frustration of the present moment.


6) Help the infant express their malcontent

Maybe they need to just let loose a bit physically. Let them use and express their energy by running, jumping or other means to spend their energy or frustration. You can also teach them to hit an anger cushion if that's what they need, and only that cushion for that release. When they get older, they can draw their frustration or in crafting with clay or playdoh.


7) Remember they are still young

They can't easily communicate what isn't going well for them. When young, things are more emotional in communication. Feelings are felt more strongly, and they don't think or reason much or well like yourself. Logical arguments have little significance for them to pay attention to and go over their heads.


8) Provide options

When they don't want to get dressed, give them an option between two things, or what they want to start getting dressed with first. Let them choose with their will, rather than bring everything on at your will. This way they can feel they have some control and autonomy in a world where very little is being decided by themselves.


9) Don't neglect non-verbal communication

So, you didn't get upset, great, but we don't always communicate with words. There are also sighs, annoyed faces, abrupt gestures. We can engage in more positive expressions like warm glances, smiles and confident expressions. Which do you prefer to communicate to them?


10) Turn it into a game

Maybe they dump the clothes from their drawer and show they are frustrated and show the need to let off some steam. You can pretend to be shocked and devastated by what they did without being too serious about it, but in a humorous and theatrical way. Put everything back in the drawer and play a few rounds until they feel better. Then they can help put them back the final time when they are in a good mood.


Nonviolent parenting is important to keep building a loving and trusting relationship with our children. We might not be violating their rights, but there it's a term to represent an aggressive position or stance in responding to children who don't know better. We can keep expressing positive communication signals to them and help them overcome their temperamental moods, brining each other back into harmony and moving forward.

Building a strong familial bond helps to protect our families and strengthen them from outside influence that can lead children onto negative pathways later on. This is both for keeping parents aligned with their children and not doing stupid things, and also keeps children from being influenced by others to diverge from parental guidance into bad behavior that gets them in trouble. The last thing we want is for our children to get in trouble by acting out from our failures or from troubled youths who influence them, least of all Child Protective Services getting involved in some way for whatever bogus reason.

Raising responsible and integrated children starts from birth. We need to do our best as parents in order to ensure the best outcomes for them. It all starts with us and our influence towards them. They are blank slates in many cases, and we need to influence them in the best way possible.


References:


Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.


If you appreciate and value the content, please consider: Upvoting, Sharing or Reblogging below.
Follow me for more content to come!


My goal is to share knowledge, truth and moral understanding in order to help change the world for the better. If you appreciate and value what I do, please consider supporting me as a Steem Witness by voting for me at the bottom of the Witness page.

Sort:  

Every parent must take an extra mile of patience to care for their children and they should be the model to be followed by their children. It is better if they will be handson in caring their child rather than to let the nanny to take care for them.

They should let the child feel their love, affection and care so that he will not grow violent and lack of attention.

Very relatable content as I have a 2.5 year old and an 8 month old at home. Different things work for different kids, when my son was an infant and would start crying for seemingly no reason, the fallback was always to pat his mouth with my open hand so his cries turned into a wahwahwahwahwah noise. It almost always turned into laughter. My 8 month old daughter unfortunately does not care for this tactic. She either wants to be held in some obscure fashion, for example she likes her arms over my right shoulder so she can look behind me and pat on my back while I bounce her legs up and down a bit, or she wants me to lay down so she can crawl/climb on me. She probably picks that last one up from my son who always wants to wrestle around, he's her favorite.

Now that my son is a toddler, he's fairly decent at saying what's wrong but the things that bug him are far more diverse, so it's really just a game of getting him to calm down and helping him explain why he's upset. He got mad at me the other day because I was cleaning our back yard and I moved a stick. Apparently he was "putendenden" (pretending) that it was a lion or something. I probably asked him about 20 questions about the lion and why it was in our yard and where it came from. That calmed him down, he wanted to have fun pretending and was afraid I was ruining it, by asking questions I validated that I wasn't encroaching on his ability to have fun. We snuck up on the "lion" and surprised it, I looked like an idiot to any neighbors that might have been watching, a good time was had by all. That story came to mind when I read tip 10 on this post.

The fun part about toddlers is you can proactively teach your them how to do things for themselves right up until the point they get frustrated (and a hair past it), which helps them not only learn to be self-sufficient in practice but also to be mentally resilient to that feeling of frustration. I've noticed a difference in how often we get total meltdowns from our toddler since my wife and I have put in extra effort doing this. It helps right up until close to bed time, apparently being tired disrupts a toddlers ability to be resilient to frustration :)

You're doing s swell job :) Getting them to be self-sufficient has it's limits indeed at a young age. They don't understand it all. They like having things done for them too ;) I think it's common to detect their tiredness by seeing how frustrated or angry or difficult they get, although not foolproof ;) Thanks for the feedback.

Thanks, I appreciate that. Having a good idea and continuing to learn how to best raise kids is one thing. Practicing what you preach is another. I'm certainly not a perfect parent but I'm giving it my best shot and always improving!

As a father of 5 now. The 5th just having been born yesterday, I can completely relate and agree with this post entirely. Parenting is the single most difficult job on the planet. Anyone can run a fortune 500 company with the right training, parenting takes experience, it cannot be taught. You will make mistakes, You will get into fights, You will argue. You will, like I did, literally pull your hair out. I’m 32 and balding already, it isn’t the best of times.

Parenting is difficult, to do it right is a craft. It is significantly more rewarding to see a child learn a positive trait than a negative one. Children are sponges and learn the world through those that are closest. If you show anger, violence and punishment every moment of every day that is what the child will accept to be normal and practice themselves. They are mirrors of our own behavior.

I can only hope that the US general population learns that you cannot raise a child through social media. Put the damn phone down and go spend some time with your kids and maybe they wouldn’t act out so much. As always @krnel. I greatly appreciate your content and wish you nothing but success. Thanks for sharing!

Yes, if they are going to imitate things, it's best we show them the best things to imitate :) Your're welcome :)

I'm glad to be following you for this article, @krnel. I had forgotten why I was following you in the first place. I guess this article is a sort of reassurance.

As your kid or kids get older (depending on who reads this), you might like this website (doesn't depend on who reads this):

Lives in the Balance

I offer this because the founder, Dr. Ross W. Greene has really drilled down to find the root cause of challenging behavior in kids and offers a variety of tools to help kids work through their growing pains - without violent, threats or punishment and reward.

So I'm actually gratified to see more people like you talking about non-violent parenting, and considering the audience here at Steemit, that might not be so surprising.

Write on.

Glad to help provide some things for people to think about. :) Especially raising consciousness in the next generation, not only ourselves ;) I bookmarked the link, thanks for sharing.

You're welcome. :)

I have a very difficult time dealing with my 9 month old , he’s a very needy baby and he doesn’t really drink as much milk as he should and his weight is lower than normal kids . Personally I have anger issues so it mixes with his actions . I’m gonna try using some of these tips next time he refuses to eat

It brings out the worst in parents when you know what is good for them, or what they need to be doing and they just don’t do it. As parent we know good and well it will benefit them by making them feel better health wise.
I sure hope it get better the older they get? But I kind of think as parents we get better at dealing with each child in they way each responds best.
Hang in there, it will get better.

I hope these tips make things better for you and your child. Good luck.

I'd like to add 11 and 12

  1. Dont blame yourself
  2. Accept that sometimes you cannot find the problem and need to accept that your child is unhappy

Hehe yes, sometimes you can't do anything, and it's not always fixable. We're not miracle workers ;)

we can use reflection as a way for the child to calm down, it consists in giving him 1 minute for each year that the child has away from articles that can distract him, in this way we use it as a corrective but without making it look like a punishment. The cooperative education is also a good tool especially because we do not give orders, but instructions and the child can select which consequence to suffer

Yes, it's important to have children understand there are consequences to actions. I guess if they pick it then it's better managed for them to accept it ;)

People know that's the right thing to do but ones brain freezes when a kid continuously scream.

It's hard to keep your cool too, but we're supposed to be the adults ;)

well, i guess sometimes you can try your best to soothe your 5 months old but you are totally clueless as to why he's crying like crazy. I totally advocate a non-violent approach unless the child is intentionally trying to be mischevious.

no child of 5 month is intentionally mischievous. What has helped me at that age was accepting that I cannot always find the problem when he is crying and that that is okay. If you are in the mindset that it is your absolute duty to stop your child from crying, that only builds stress in the parents. And from there it only gets worse.

Good advice ;)

Parents should take care of children in a friendly, non-violent approach. Even if the child makes a mistake, educate by not tweeting or hitting the child.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.30
TRX 0.12
JST 0.034
BTC 64038.60
ETH 3148.89
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.97