Just happened by and saw this post. Quite touching. I'm deeply grateful for your "mom". Bless her heart. My story was similar in nature. My mother used me as a tool of hate against my father. Ah...but we'll leave it there.
I am attaching a post of mine you probably never read about a foster son of mine. There is a bit in there about CPS. In his families case it turned out good. I really had no choice I had to turn his mother into someone. It was either the police or CPS. So in some emergencies CPS can't be avoided it seems. Here is the linkhttps://steemit.com/newbieresteemday/@mistermercury/my-foster-son-twisted-dark-roots.
These wounds we have as kids don't heal so fast. At least that's what I have experienced. But they serve other purposes: we become more compassionate. We learn a great deal. We can become better people for it. We are compelled to help others. Anyway, its a long list of how the shit of abuse can be the fertilizer of great service to others and ourselves. Blessings.
I just finished reading your post. You mention that there would be a future post. Did you write it yet, and if so can you give me the link? Also, I saw in one of the comments that you mentioned he just got home from work, so I assume he still lives with you? Thank you for caring enough for his welfare to step forward for him.
Yeah, I started teaching him a trade when he was about 14. He is now 28. He lived with a girl friend for about a year, and then with his mom for a while (but she drives him crazy) so he ended up with me. He is more like a house mate I suppose. We get along well and respect each other. He is actually like a son to me though. I'm single and retired so it's nice to have someone else here, and of course he reduces my overhead each month! Now, his younger brother, whom I also fostered, wants to move in. Heck, why not? To tell you the truth it's kind of like the old extended family idea where multiple generations of family live together or on the same farm, etc. I suspect one day I'll be part of his extended family. My own kids? Love them to death but they follow the modern family structure. Off by themselves doing their own lives. I'm fortunate in that we all get along quite well and they all live within an hour or two drive. I'm spoiled.
As far as the next installment to the post: I've hesitated. I had actually written a near-book on what might have happened in Lelands life had I not showed up. But one day got pissy about the quality (I didn't think it was good enough) so trashed it. Regret that now. So, the next installment is all fiction of course, but rather dark. Leland becomes a very dark, perhaps even evil person, in the story. I've decided to put it on the shelf for right now. Perhaps one day.
Just one thing more: When my first son was born we named him the same name that "Leland" has. But after 3 days I knew the name was wrong. So went back to the hospital and had it changed. 2nd son comes along. Same thing. Not "Leland". Then we had 3 girls. Then that was it. Enough kids! But I knew "Leland" was still out there. He showed up about 15 years after my last daughter was born. I knew it was him. Absolutely knew it. But that's another story.
The bottom line: from the terrible wounding at the hands of my mother has come incredible blessings for me and many others. I was quite angry at her for many years, but over time gained perspective and awareness and love for her and the life she had. And, most importantly, am grateful for the role she played in my life.
Many blessings.
It is indeed hard to heal, and I have to credit the turnaround moment for myself was when I found out I was going to be a dad. I new I had to get my anger under control and get my shit together so he wouldn't be doomed to the same crap cycle. I am off to read your post now. Thanks for sharing, and understand why you left it at that. I had debated even writing this, as it touches on not only very personal experiences but raises the question of a solution. Sometimes it is difficult once you begin navigating in that grey area.
Yes my foster son is one of the most angry people I've ever met. He is a volcano ready to erupt. Concerns me just about every day. I was angry too, but stuffed it. Gradually it came out but was then I was pretty much aware of it so avoided hurting anyone.
Awareness is key. I have to imagine that in many ways your guidance has helped him set up the framework for such a thing. The fact he continues to gravitate back to you is a testament to his high esteem for you as a man. I hope one day he will learn to forgive. It is a lifetime process for many, and sometimes easier to let time erode the feelings as new experiences blow over the soul like sand in the desert.