RE: The Devisal of Mr. Dankworth
The appearance of setting out you cards at the beginning, very twilight zone, I love it. Also really love the weave approach, you have pulled it off for sure! You build the tension so well, even though we know from the off what we have, the way he bangs his cuffs against the cup <3
And this little subtle slip in that builds so much world in so few words
life-terms on a distant planet
The way you punctuate the email, building the suspense with the mention of the drawing, adding to it with our reporters reactions. I was hooked, but then finding out what the picture was of, the slow dawning of realisation as to what that meant, and what was going on. Yet again you lead us slowly down a dark path, not shying away from the darker shadows and gripping us so there is no turning back and we have to find out how it ends. Wonderfully done <3
@calluna, your powers of perception are very strong. I'm watching The Twilight Zone for the first time. The idea for this story came from the episode where a German officer has to live out his days on a ship he bombed full of women and children. I've been wanting to try weaving through a story for a while now and this beginning gave me the inspiration to do so.
I'm glad I was able to bring forth the reporter in a way that wasn't confusing. I was wondering if it was or not.
I'm playing around with space stuff.
Ah, yes, the picture. He should have taken his cue earlier to get out. haha.
Yes, another really dark one this week. What are you guys doing to me? 8-)