Finish the Story Contest - Week #50! - The Abysmal Biscuit, My Ending

This is my entry for the Finish the Story Week #50 contest run by @bananafish. For more details on the contest and the @bananafish community check out the original contest post, Finish the Story Contest - Week #50!

I managed to use 746 words instead of the recommended 500 words. It seems like a number I just won't be able to hit.

The Abysmal Biscuit

by @F3nix

The awareness of the box's contents dripped slowly in Joelle's mind, coagulating like a graceless Rorschach's blot. Bones. Tiny tapered bones, standing out against the mahogany bottom.

The unusual item jolted on the worn chair, reacting to the vibrations of the old diesel-powered train. The convoy, the last of his lineage, still fulfilled its duty along the Brașov-Sighișoara route allowing students to return to their homes every weekend. To the rhythm of joints and sleepers, the whiteness of the remains continued to dance tremulously before the eyes of the young woman as the frames of her glasses slipped slowly from her nose.

In a tinkling clink of bracelets, the student closed the lid of the box and moved away as far as possible from it, crushing herself against the seat's padding. The lazy air of the air conditioner stuck to the bottom of her dry throat an acrid plastic taste.

And then she saw him. The old passenger had returned and was staring at her through the windows that led from the corridor of the car to the cabin. She listened to her own scream erupting and fill the cramped cab.

"I didn't want to scare you, young lady."

"N-not scared, don't worry". Somehow, Joelle managed to gather the few polite words her manners demanded. She could not have said how long he had been watching and if he had seen where curiosity had taken her. The glasses, temples up in the air, laid on the seat beside her.

The old man was tall and lanky, his burnished skin resembled the ancient scales of a dragon. Dressed in work trousers and a raw cotton shirt, he gave the impression of being one of those peasants whose families had inhabited the Carpathians for centuries.

Joelle's gaze passed involuntarily from the man to the funeral urn disguised as a biscuit tin: the representation of a merry-go-round in a lacquered colored wood and graceful workmanship. The children were swirling with their bent busts, perhaps because of the speed of the carousel. Their mouths were wide open and their hands clung to the poles skewering the horses. With a lump in her throat, she remembered the fleeting memory of just a few hours before, when a train was huffing at the central station and a gentle old man asked her help because he couldn't open the cabin door. She felt like something ruined down from her lungs to her guts.

"I see that you like my craft" In the silence, she could detect the old man's fingers caressing the box inlays.

"It's delicious. A gift for a grandchild?"Joelle realized only now that the object was his only baggage. In the warm twilight, the colors of lacquered wood seemed even more lively. The conifers thickened on the sides of the train, sliding quickly to the edges of her field of vision.

"Oh. A gift, says the young lady. Like a toy, perhaps? ” The old man's eyes were two black bottomless pits. His gaze had slowly become vitreous like that of a deep-water fish, yet at the same time penetrating.

"Yes, a toy. I like how you see it, miss." The passenger continued, his voice getting thinner.

Only then, Joelle realized where they were heading: the train had just passed the old mill and would soon pass through the tunnels beneath the mountain.

"You may have noticed how I depicted all these children. Observe, miss, between a horse and the other: they are not alone." By pronouncing the last vowel, which he abnormally prolonged, his voice tone had become a slow and drawling rattle.

It was still too early for the wagons' lights to turn on and the tunnels were preparing to swallow the convoy.
A sound of nails carving into the wood tore the thoughts of the young student.

Image: Pixabay

Here is my ending to the story:

The entire car became darkened. The only light was the faint glimmer of the safety lights along the edges of the corridor. Joelle noticed that the old man's eyes, previously black as the inside of this tunnel, now had a bit of a glow about them. While this sent her into a panic briefly, she felt a calm take over her entire being as she stared into them. Joelle asked the old man where he was headed.

He replied somberly, "Home again."

"Why were you in Brasov?"

"My former wife passed away. We buried her yesterday."

Joelle briefly wondered if the bones could be his wife's, but then realized they were much too small. Fishing for more information, she asked if he'd made the box for his wife.

The old man turned away as he responded, "No; for my daughter, actually."

Joelle could see one tear escape from his eye. It was becoming clear that the finely-crafted box was where the remains of his young daughter lived.

The convoy now had begun to emerge from the other side of the tunnel. Everything became brightly lit once again. Joelle's eyes squinted while they adjusted. The only change in the old man's eyes was now they seemed even more entrancing to her.

A conductor then went walking by shouting, "Next stop, 4 minutes, Rupea Gară station. Transfers to Sibiu, and Transylvania. Please have your tickets ready."

The old man began gathering his things as he said, "That's my station. One more train and a carriage ride, and I will be home."

"Where is home?"

"A mountain estate that I inherited in Transylvania." Staring deeper into Joelle's eyes he continued, "Would you like to join me?"

There was an uneasy silence that seemed to last forever before Joelle replied in a monotonous tone, "Yes, I shall join you."

The two transferred to the Transylvania-bound train. Joelle's ticket didn't cost much more as they would be seated in the private compartment the old man had already purchased for the trip. The train rumbled from the station. With stops in Cata and Palos, their trip would take another 90 minutes. Joelle finally gathered the nervous courage to ask about the bones in the mahogany box. "Is that your daughter in the box?"

The old man took a very deep breathe and began to explain.

"Yes, my dear Claudia. She was taken from me when she was just five years old"

"How did she die?"

Before she could finish that sentence, the old man lashed out, "She did not DIE. She was killed . . . by a monster! He would have killed my Anne as well if I hadn't agreed to go with him to Transylvania and become his servant."

"I'm sorry." Joelle whispered.

"Sorry, my child. I didn't mean to frighten you. It is just very hard to talk about. Even though it was 63 years ago, it seems like it was yesterday that I had to watch that man drain the life from my Claudia." As the old man got more and more emotional, the years literally seemed to melt from his face. Joelle's expression became puzzled as she noticed a much younger man emerging from the old man with blackened eyes she met earlier in the day.

"63 years ago? How old are you?"

"The years tick away. The number of days in this life no longer matter." He then continued his story. "I returned to the evil man's castle. The Castle Dracul. I lived out my days doing his bidding. Every day I envisioned taking out my revenge on him, but I was not the only servant in the castle. Finally, one day I was alone with him as he slept. I had broken off a piece of wood from one of the boxes of desecrated earth that he used while traveling and sharpened it for months, dreaming of the day I would get retribution for my little Claudia. That stormy afternoon, I drove the stake through his evil heart, but not before he had made me one of his own so many years before. Now I am the Master of Castle Dracul, and you are my new concubine."

At that moment, the conductor walked past the compartment shouting, "Transylvania Station. Last stop. Transylvania Station."

Joelle now sat terrified, yet feeling for the suddenly younger-looking and attractive man. A small part of her felt excited for what the future may hold for her, and her new Master.

I hope you all enjoyed my ending to this week's #finishthestory. Let me know what you think in the comments. Be sure to go check out the @bananafish community!