So I have this friend who wants to start exploring her sexuality and she came up to me and ask me several questions regarding it. Now she said she already did it with someone but feels a bit inadequate. Recently graduated from college, started her new job surrounded by strangers, she feels weird asking these from her other male friends and her closest girl friends are out of the question. I have always given off a guidance counselor vibe to people.

You see the Philippines is predominantly Catholic and so talking about sex is still considered a taboo. There are even a lot of slut-shaming campaigns especially online where it gets toxic as dirty laundry and passive aggressive posts on who slept with who, who is cheating on who and all the drama associated with it are saved in internet space for everyone to see.

Filipina women are expected to maintain this "Maria Clara" persona and remain pure or at least not appear to be sleeping around too much. Even that is subject to questioning on what is considered as too much. One to three is considered okay, more than 1 hand means active and more than 2 hands are considered sluts.

I am surrounded by an all-woman HR team who freely talk about these things in front of me so I didn't make these rules!

So going back to her exploration she asks me to create several things she needs to do and I thought she was just joking but apparently, she is serious so I did remember this rom-com The To Do List and told her to look up the movie and the list.

Source

She calls me back and I could see in the video that she was laughing so hard telling "Dude what the hell are Teabagging and Pearl Necklace!" She said she could not think what half of the list meant. Which I said exactly so enjoy hahahha!

It is troubling that society has this double standard for men and women. A patriarchal society that celebrates men having multiple sex partners are "macho" and women who sleep around are sluts and damaged goods.

The number of sexual partners you have should not place a label and define you.

The To Do List

Okay back to the To Do List. She asked for 7 things that she can do but would not regret it. We had to discuss then what were the limitations. So no butt stuff, no bareback since safety first, same sex can be considered but would be of lower priority.

So this is the list that I made for her:

1. Make out in a public place
2. Do a handjob and a fingerbang in a moviehouse (like duh this is the first thing most people do)
3. Talk dirty with a stranger (Tinder does not count)
4. Play with a sex toy
5. Titty cum
6. Cunnilingus - apparently she never experienced it yet
7. Do a threesome either two guys or 1 guy and 1 girl

I wanted it that she would be the one to enjoy the things she would do, well maybe not 5 but it needed to be there haha.

If you would provide her a list what would you suggest?

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