Kanban
There it is. You like?
El Jefe waved a hand proudly at a grubby off-white wall we were standing beside.
It's a wall?
I said with some trepidation lest it wasn't really a wall but a big door or something.
Not just a wall. It's your wall. Hmm, hmm!
I moved closer to the dirty wall and tentatively poked it with a finger. It seemed real enough. The wall had an oily, inky sheen to it which had now transferred to the tip of my finger.
Well, thank you. I can honestly say that I have never been given a wall before.
I beamed at El Jefe. He beamed back.
Well now you have!
He stated happily, giving his bulbous tum a bit of a self-satisfied rub, like it was an old greasy-haired dog.
Splendid.
We stood there for some moments admiring the wall for its ability to support the roof.
Can I take it home with me?
I said jauntily.
El Jefe grunted as though passing an unpeeled potato out his grumpkin.
He raised a hand as if to smite me then halted, the puzzled look on his face clearing into understanding.
Ha. Haha! A funny one. Haha, oh very funny.
His outstretched hand descended, not to kill me with one fell blow to the neck but instead to pat me on the shoulder.
I like that, you always have been a funny one.
He chortled merrily.
I felt an icy hand of sheer terror clasp at my heart. What the hell was going on? Had El Jefe been smoking dried banana? Why was he laughing at my joke? Had I died and this was hell?
But no... This is your Kanban wall. You and your team can have daily stand-up meetings here. It will be fantastic for productivity.
I twisted the corners of my mouth up into what I hoped was a smile and not a frigid grimace of fear.
My team of one...?
El Jefe shook me about a bit via the hand that was still on my shoulder. Leaning in close he whispered in a conspiratorial voice.
Well there is you and Cow-Lick. How many is that?
Yes, two!
El Jefe turned to face the wall, a happy sigh hissing out of him like a frog in a fire. He turned back around to face me
And what does one plus one make?
Two?
I answered somewhat desperately. Something didn't seem right about all this.
Exactly, two. You see? I knew you would get it. You have always been sharp that way.
He walked off humming something that sounded suspiciously like I wish it could be Christmas every day...
I gazed at his retreating back. My spidey-sense was tingling like mad. Something was afoot. Was this a test? A challenge? I had no idea.
I went over to Cow-Lick who was sat nearby watching with some amusement. In fact I had a sneaking suspicion he had been laughing.
Cow-Lick.
Yes Boss man?
You see that wall?
Our wall, yes I do.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
Good, now draw some lines on it.
What?
You heard mate, get drawing.
I headed out for a coffee leaving him looking at the wall with the same confusion I had just moments ago.
Maybe this management thing might not be so bad after all.
Well. I had to look up and do a bit of research on the process of Kanban, but now that I have, I know that your new Kanban wall will help prevent:
"the buildup of excess inventory at any point in production" So remember, you're there for ideas: don't think too much.
It's also for " bringing visibility to the supplier, consumer, and buyer"
SO remember to take out your wall and display it by the next board meeting. Enjoy!
And I quite love that "Eater of Souls" Lanyard. Where do I get me one of those?
Also: Nice calculations behind the "eww ,dirty"
And another thing: Please, please, cover it in the Nameless fellow's art. You may be fired immediately, but it would totally be worth it.
I fully intend to lug that thing with me wherever I go!
I am glad someone spotted the Eater of Souls it is quite a delight to me, a thoughtful piece of adornment mean to inspire ;O)
IF I could get away with adorning it in the nameless chaps art then I certainly would but when one skates on thin ice one must always know where is thinnest!
Once again you have been schooled in the ways of dem Maths by El Jefe. Don't feel bad, Boomdiggity, I guess that's why he's El Jefe, always a cut above the rest of us. We're not worthy.
On a more serious note, Kanban has always been a favorite of mine in terms of methodologies. Heck, I use for when I'm cooking, it's great! I just find the excess waste of post-its a shame. I hope Cow-Lick had a blast with that wall. Once it's filled up, he won't have any space to draw anymore haha!
I certainly aint averse to it. In fact I think it is quite good as a tracking and overall management, everybody knows where they are at kinda tool!
But that is in the context of a team delivering things. What El Jefe fails to get is that me and Cow-Lick are kinda independent from normal team working. It makes our Kanban look very odd. Although he did well with the columns and cards!
It does feel antiquated for a team of two, especially since only you two are the only ones that would be communicating and you most certainly know who's at where.
In other news, I came back to posting, and for the life of me I couldn't see what you were raving about a deluge of earnings, BOOM-goes-the-dynamite. In fact, my earnings are at an all-time low hahaha! Guess I got the shit end of the Forkening!
Actually, I may or may not be guilty of already listening to some Christmas songs, just saying... :)
Gaaaaaaaarrrrr!!!
Hahaha, definitely appropriate!!
haha! sir meesterboom! another productive meeting with El Jefe! You ahve such a winning team there, it's very impressive! lol. You also have the best descriptions of anyone anywhere like.."happy sigh hissing out of him like a frog in a fire." lol.
It should be interesting to see what that wall produces!
So far it's produced fuck all, but time will indeed tell!
lol! this is so funny but I guess it shouldn't be!
;0)
You know you've made it in your career when you receive.... a wall.
I will have to give it a name!!
But will it hold Post-It notes in various colours? Can't think about anything without those.
We have specially coloured cards! But we have to use blu-tac!!
You're doomed.
We have been sailing the ship of doom for a long time now
I need one of those Eater of Souls lanyard! Very creative. Now about that wall...Cow Lick is going to have to do some fancy drawing me thinks. El Jefe will be expecting results now!
He did some! Lots of lovely little lanes. Now we just need stuff to go in them!!
The lanyard rawks indeed!
Oh dear I hope the wall did not replace the raise?
Well it has shown up first so it better not have!!
In profoundly hate these theoretically made frameworks. Where an external 3rd party is hired to teach you some fancy terms like ITIL, Bizl, Scrum and so on. Are these persons intensely happy with their lives?
I think they are only happy if they are peddling horseshit for people to swallow and they do, every time!!
If you call it the HRSIT framework you might earn a few bucks😉
Lol, noted!