Was worried...😂

in #life6 years ago

What? Lots of people prance around on their decks in nothing but a hat and a belt...right? I was around age 37 here. In my photos, anytime you see this posture of me holding my bum like that it's because I was worried. Yes, look at how perfectly acceptable and lovely all of me was then. And yet I still worried it wasn't perfect enough!!

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I am a type 6 on the enneagram. The #enneagram is a tool for better understanding yourself and others. 6s maintain a sense of safety and security by constantly scanning and planning and trying to foresee and then offset risks, dangers and problems. Effectively we are attached to outcomes and try to control them. We are masterful worst-case-scenario thinkers, because without awareness we constantly scan for "what's wrong with this picture." Again, it's only out of trying to feel safe and comfortable.

Then I am a sexual 6, which means my primary concentration towards feeling safe and secure is feeling sexually attractive. Feeling desired makes my ego feel safe and like it has a purpose, a place, a value...

So that's the story of why my hands are cupping my perfectly adorable bottom here. I had all that ✨ going on, but my little sexual 6 brain, as usual, was scanning and searching for SOMETHING to worry about. Scanning for anything that maybe could be a little better, it thought, that would help my ego relax and feel perfectly desirable, safe, and secure. Problem is, as with all ego games, there is no winning or end to this approach. There is never "good enough" or "perfect enough." So long as we remain unaware of these deeper programmings we are blindly trapped within their exhaustive cycles.

I am still a sexual 6. It's my root nature, or how I'm wired. I still like to feel desirable. But I am now at least awake to my underlying psychological programming driving it. So hopefully I'm able to still play in this little ego game of life, but not take it all so damn seriously. I am starting to witness it playfully. ✌🏽😎💋

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Funny, I forgot what enneagram type my ego was, the last time I saw it around. 😀
It's been a while... I was definitely not a 6 cause I couldn't care less what other people think of me - especially not about my physical body, that is going to get old and die anyway. Bodies are way too overvalued if you'd ask me... 😀

The enneagram is one of my favorite tools for better self awareness. it’s not surface personality typing, but rather deepest true nature discernment so it’s complicated and really can take years of study for some of the types of “self-type.” Some of them are obvious...fun loving, adventure seeking, boredom loathing type 7s, or assertive, purpose driven, easy to anger leaders - type 8s. But others, like type 6, are less clear and really hard to see at first.

Also, there are 3 variants of all the types self preservation, social, and sexual. One isnt better or worse, but just different ways the ego seeks to feel safe and secure and function. That you see the body as less valuable tells me you likely aren’t a sexual type.

It’s kind of like learning styles...auditory, visual and kinesthetic. Generally we all have these capacities, just one will be stronger and become the predominant way we intake data. But none of them are right or wrong, better or worse.

Cheers

Ah, always brightening my day not just with interesting and beautiful pics but with your thoughts and the emotions behind them. Being human with our "ego" attached is the ultimate to overcome is it not? Funny how we all deal with this part of our being individually but also collectively through society and its rules. Our minds are molded from our early days and the chains are so hard to break at times. When we do find freedom, if ever, there seems to be yet another chain with even a tighter hold right. Inspiring you are with the wisdom you've gained through this maze of life we all share to some degree. Much appreciated as always. I've got to check out the tool you referenced.

Ya, can’t get rid of the ego but it’s best if you work to see through it so you aren’t blindly letting it run your show. 😂 and it is often process like revealing layers... like you think you’ve overcome it and then damnit - there’s another deeper layer.

Thank you as always for your support and comment. Do check out the enneagram as a tool if it interests you. I’ve used it for 20 years to better know myself, my loved ones and friends. I referenced an app in other comments on this post here that’s a great starting point. 😘

6, or whichever number, you are still pretty. You could have told me that the way you hold your bottom was just your pose, I would have believed that, too.

From me, you only get sex-positive very approving vibes. You are overthinking.

steemsig.png
Joe
@joe.nobel
science fiction, fantasy, erotica

This was from a few years ago. I’ve outgrown much of the angst over my appearance. yes...I’m very sex positive and approving.

Just sharing an old memory...✌🏾

Where did you lose your panties?

Then I am a sexual 6, which means my primary concentration towards feeling safe and secure is feeling sexually attractive. Feeling desired makes my ego feel safe and like it has a purpose, a place, a value...

This is a really deep post. Most people usually are so shy and even naïve about the power and beauty of their sexuality. This is bad. Our sexuality is a part of our souls that we must never undermine. It's an aspect of us that reveals our hidden beauty. It's the sole of our existence. A beauty to cherish.

People who abuse their sexuality are those who have inadequate knowledge of the powers within them.

Great post dear @steemed-open

I thought you love pets and may want to see this great post about cats. Please look at it and feel free to upvote.

https://steemit.com/nature/@ambdavid/cat-whisker-misconception

Cheers

The enneagram is pretty amazing in the wisdom it represents. Im either a 6 or a 9 havent figured that out completely. The way I learned it, is the 6 and 9 are related and move about into the other type in either stress or relaxation. But I definitely know the not good enough game (Im also virgo, so...)

Enneagram is a valuable tool. Has been for me and many others at least. 6 and 9 are closely related, but one doesn’t shift between types. You are what you are, but when really healthy a type 6 will manifest some attributes like a 9 (peacemaker, guide for others towards happiness and getting along) and when a 6 is unhealthy they appear more like a 3 in acting, performing, trying to amass certificates and accomplishments to make their ego feel worthy, secure and safe. All the types do this shifty appearance business at lower levels of health. It’s the ego’s game.

I think many people find astrology to be helpful as well, but I’ve never gotten into it. Partly because I’m an Aries, which I don’t relate to the characteristics listed for them very much, so I makes me doubt it relvance for me.

very nice picture

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