It is interesting catching up with family after such a long time as inevitably, stories of the past get brought up. Like the time I wandered away at a very busy fairground only to be found happily riding the big Ferris wheel. They remember it like yesterday, me not at all.

There are also the shared experiences of a complicated childhood with siblings with large age gaps and parents who changed a lot over time. There are a few good stories however, they are not the ones that get brought up. My wife has learned a lot about my history today.

There is a difference between talking about past events and holding onto the emotions of them or, using them as an excuse for current circumstances. A survivor can talk about the past without reliving it, a victim becomes animated all over again, wounded afresh.

I am a survivor of childhood and although it has shaped me to a point, the chisel is now in my own hands, life is my responsibility. Take it or leave it, this is truth for us all.

I often think about the damage I am going to do to my daughter, how the way I behave is going to impact on her. No matter a parent's attempt, it isn't going to be perfect. My goal is that as early as possible she learns her life is hers to direct, as are the consequences.

Hopefully, she will survive me.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
_{written on the phone}