Premonitions (My hands-on experience)
Premonitions (My hands-on experience)
By Bernardt James(Cobus van der Walt) 7 May 2018
A personal story I want to share and that needs sharing:
Back in 2012, around the beginning of the 3rd quarter, I struggled with anxiety and major depression. I went to see a renowned psychiatrist, one of the best in the country and he diagnosed me as borderline bipolar. I was completely shocked and could not believe it. I was previously diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Good old prozak did the trick for me.
The early hours of Sunday morning, the 11th of November 2012, my Grand Mother was brutally attacked, beaten and raped by an intruder (I could use other words). She passed away on 21 November due to major injuries and trauma.
My heart was completely torn apart.
My Gran and I were soul mates and really close. This completely destroyed me and it took a very long time to make peace with it. I’ll never completely get over it…
And when I look back in retrospect, it all makes sense to me now…
Soon after she passed away, I complained that the meds for my “bipolar disorder” was making me feel worse. Also, the way my body reacted to it. I went back to my GP and asked him if we could stop the meds. He weened me off and I then went back to see my psychologist whom diagnosed me with mild depression and anxiety years earlier.
She said there was no way that I could be bipolar, not even border line. Please don’t get me wrong as I respect people with any mental disorder, but I was relieved that I was not bipolar.
I started feeling better again and back to my normal self. Still missing my dear Gran, but life went on...
And again, looking back I know that this was a premonition of something bad. I knew and could feel something bad was going to happen and I suppressed/ignored it. Thinking and believing I was going crazy…
My body and mind became ill and could sense what was going to happen. It was like one of my own limbs or organs were ripped/torn from my body.
I composed my very first "original" album in dedication to my Gran. 2013 entitled, A song to remember. This album also helped me heal somewhat.
Miss you Ouma...
Thank you for reading
follow me @bernardtjames
It makes me angry hearing of people being put onto medication for the slightest imbalance in ones life instead of dealing with it properly.
Sorry this is my own opinion, Doctors are prescribing way to many with misdiagnosed outcome. The drugs have wicked side effects on body and mind, so sorry it took the death of your Gran, terrible events in your life, to find out at the end of the day you had been misdiagnosed.
Thanks for the reply Joan :) I totally agree with you. Sometimes you are not crazy, it is your body and soul warning you. This post was supposed to be about premonitions, but I carried on about the meds LOL ! I'm clearly better expressing myself through my music and not writing! LOL ;)
I have three grand-kids I love them very much. I haven't seeing them for about seven months and I haven't talked over the phone with them due to my daughter in law and my son, they don't trust me around their kids. My son suffers from anxiety and his upbringing was no perfect but compared to some his was pretty good. I will continue to pray for them, although I may no see them again for the rest of my life. I'm promoting your post for transparency about your situation and for your loss as well.
As a psychology student I tell my son to opt for holistic treatment, organic diet, prayer too, since anxiety originates of the sense of being out control, but we must remember our creator is in control and he will never leave us or forsake us, this is his promise and he is no a man that he should lie.
Thanks for the reply and taking time to do so @rhema2017
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