Art Prompt Writing Contest #4 No One Comes Here - Michelle Gent

in #writing6 years ago (edited)

My entry for the competition:

No One Comes Here...

She stood on the bank, arms relaxed, hands behind her back, surveying the water a few feet away.

Serenity reigned as the sun broached the rise and spangled through the bare branches. She nodded and smiled. It had been a good decision to be here for the sunrise.

She sighed and leaned her head back, closing her eyes, breathing in deep, holding the breath until her lungs pounded in time with her heart and she let go the air she’d taken in. How long had she held her breath for? She tried again.

Deep breath in… hold it…

Pounding lungs and heart, eyeballs too. Then her stomach gave an involuntary spasm as though trying to drag in more, fresh air. After the third time, the instinctive impulse grew too strong to ignore and she let out the breath and took in more oxygen to appease her lungs.

Wow! More than 130 heartbeats! But it made her feel a little dizzy. She laughed at the sensation of head-swimming and felt, rather than saw her companion glance at her.

Another, involuntary deep breath as a yawn caught her by surprise. Possibly brought on by the early-morning start, exacerbated by her breath-holding exercise.

She looked at her companion and nodded once. He returned the nod with a patient ‘resting-bitch-face’ expression which made her smile.

“What do you have to smile about?” he said.

“Oh, you know,” she said. “The morning… not too cold, no wind, but fresh, a clear sky. It’s going to be a beautiful day to be outside. I’m glad we came today. Tomorrow doesn’t look so promising.”

He blinked and studied her face. “You serious?”

She gave him her widest, brightest smile and nodded with enthusiasm.

“Oh yes! This is the perfect day for it.” She turned away from him to look up the waterway. No ripples, no movement on the surface of the water. “Like a mill pond,” she whispered.

“A what-now?”

She turned back to him. “You know, a mill pond. No disturbance in the water, it looks like a mirror. Wait til the sun rises and gives a little more definition. Those trees will be reflected in the water and it will be exactly like you’re looking into a mirror. The effect is stunning. That’s why this is my favourite place to bring people.”

She turned back to look him straight-on, eye to eye.

She’d timed it to perfection. The sunlight broke over her shoulder and a shaft of light caught him right in the eye as he stared at her. He couldn’t hold her gaze and she grinned.

“I love this place. I feel like I’m the only one in the world that knows where it is.” She turned back to gaze at the water. “I’m not, of course, not quite.”

A duck flapped in and landed on the surface, water-skiing for a few inches, destroying the perfect reflection. She sighed.

“Ah, that was always going to happen, you can’t stop nature,” she said.

She had her back to him and could feel the tension in his manner but she ignored it. She knew he was impatient and soon would impose his will on her, make her do things she didn’t want to do. She knew that by the end of the day she’d be wrung-out and emotionally exhausted.

The trials of the day, the memories of her special place destroyed forever. The knowledge that she’d never be able to return, except in her dreams, and even then, the probability that they’d be nightmares; re-living the terrible events that were about to happen was all-too plausible.

Still, she wanted to hold-off the inevitable, pause time and embrace this one perfect memorial, take a snapshot of it in her mind, burn it into her brain so she could have at least one good memory of the last day she would ever visit her special place.

Her brow creased as a memory long-buried wormed its way to the surface. A day spent in this place, a day not so pleasant. A chill wind rippling the water’s surface, ruining the mirror-like double-view. There had been ducks quacking then, disturbed by the argument – a child and her grandfather. One wanting to go home to the warmth of the fireside, the other insisting they stay.

“It all started here, you know?” She turned to look at him, her brow still creased with the disturbing images of the last memory.

“Did it, sweetie?” he said in a gentle tone.

She nodded. She looked away as a lone tear slipped from her eye, down her cheek.

He came close and saw the tear. He reached up gently and wiped it away with his thumb.

“Come on, now,” he said. “No need for that.”

She nodded and gulped. “I know.”

She sighed again and turned to him. She looked at the ground beneath his feet and then looked up into his eyes.

She nodded.

“OK, I’m ready.”

“You sure? Once we start this, there’s no stopping it. We have to carry it out to the end, you promised.”

“Yeah, I promised and I’ll keep my word.”

She turned her back to him.

He undid the handcuffs.

She reached her hands around to the front and rubbed her wrists. They didn’t hurt but she felt like it was something she should do.

“My grandfather used to bring me here,” she whispered.

“Yeah, you said,” he said in a gentle tone.

“No one came here, no one saw what he did to me. No one stopped him.” She looked up at the Sheriff and grinned a malicious leer and he stepped back involuntarily, reaching for his weapon.

“I bashed in his head with a rock, just there.” She pointed. He looked to the place.

“I buried the others just beneath the waterline all along this bank. For ten yards, at least. The bank is clay and it’s so soft, easy to excavate, especially when you have all the time in the world.”

“No one comes here.”


This is my entry for this competition:

The Writers' Block

Thanks @gmuxx

Sort:  

Holy crap - you got me again! It's 3:30 in the morning here in Canada - and there's no way I'm going to go back to sleep now, lol. Awesome writing, as always. :)

LOL You'd think you'd learn by now... I don't do nice :D

You'd think, eh? LOL. You've taught me much about twists and turns and plotting in writing ... but somehow you still get me practically every time! Here I was just reading along with my head in the clouds - and BAM - you did it again!

Hahaha! SorryNotSorry

Trev and I were just discussing this on the phone...

I worry him sometimes :)

Bravo @michelle.gent! Thank you for sharing with us the fruit of your mind. My pen likes to follow the winding road as well, except I write poetry. I haven't got the chops for full on stories...but someday lol. You are someone I can look to, in order to polish my skills. Thank you again.

You're most welcome :)

I've dabbled in poetry... but I'm not confident at that :)

Wow what a great story. You took me by complete suprise. First time reading one of you're stories, but maybe next time I'll be expecting the dark twist at the end. What a great read.

Ask @jcedwards - she's read plenty of mine and I still get her with the twist ;)

Wow. I love the shift in tones. It starts peaceful then it drifts seamlessly into something dark and brooding, and the words uttered at the beginning take on an entirely new meaning. An excellent read.

Absolutely love the indifferent and casual setup, and the dark twist at the end. Very enjoyable read.

Thank you. It's something that creeps up on me too...

Splendid stuff. I love a dark tale!

Dark? I thought it was cheerful compared to my usual stuff! :D

Cheerful you say? I dont think so!
Really captivating work though well done

Compared to my usual stuff, it's positively jovial ;)

You might have a point, could have done with a lycan or two ;0)

Oh, just one would have managed ;)

I very much enjoy your style of writing @michelle.gent. Great story.

Thank you :) I think I sometimes worry the people around me though... :)

It's a little dark and scary in here :)

Oh, no! I had thought about something quite similar to this! I love short stories with a twist at the end and the place just looked right to hide some bodies. Cold and still, alone.

Well, I guess I'll have to get those gears in my head spinning and think of something else! Or will I continue with my original plan? Probably not, I like these contests to have variety in the submissions.

It was a nice story, I could perfectly picture it. The sheriff's attitude is somewhat disturbing, as is the story in general. For a second I thought there would be some suicide ritual, something like that. In any case, nice entry! It's gonna be tough, I can see that already.

Upvoted!

Aww sorry!

Still, it's not the idea that's the thing, it's how the story is told. I'd love to see what you do with that version of the story. Sorry I beat you to the punch.

Good Luck!

Haha, I'm glad to be beaten to the punch by such good writing. I've had time to think and I think I came up with something different while keeping that impending dark-twist kind of feel

Well thank you!

I'm looking forward to reading your story too!

I worry sometimes at just what is going on in your head.
I am so glad your dreams are filled with pink bunnies and white clouds.

As long as it's only going on in my head and going straight on to my computer... :)

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