Childhood memory

in #writing5 years ago (edited)

{Memories, how thou can bring back the sweet and sour, the good and the bad, the picture-perfect and hazy. Yet all the same that you sometimes are conscious at the worst and best moments, and the rest unconscious, slowing changing thy details as time passes. And as time passes, so many experiences happen that a memory can be corrupted, compressed, repainted or even re-framed but still thought as the same. Interesting thou be... Today's post is an independent story, yay!~... Today’s music-aides: "Peaceful days"[1.] "Lab Practicum"[2.] and "Steam in the pipes"[3.] (Chrono Trigger and HL2 OST).}

Image by Xyrop on the Ashley (WarioWare) Fan Discord made for me

- Childhood memory -

[1.]

From the horizon struggles a Sun climbing upwards while it battles against the starry sky. Yet soon the first wave of light pushes backs the stars and out comes the Sun that leads the auxiliaries. But equally soon came the travelling cloud merchants, whom upon settling, began shedding of their white, puffy skin. Down somewhere in an attic alcove, a body rolls out of her bundles of wool-sheets and the legs carries her to the window sill. The arms taking charge so soon, so soon elected to work with the torso to rest comfortably on the sill. Now with the eyes scoping out the streets below, she caught the last remnants of the starry sky and her mouth displayed her boredom proudly. For only the hands to punish and gag the mouth, her head cocking back behind her.

Resting like a cherub both were, the Witch-in-training and her Impish-aide. Her cheeks reddened but her smile didn’t waiver, for her mind went on an ecstatic retelling of all the times they helped her land-pirate activities. Returning back her head to the glowing World, she saw white flakes dance about with the wind providing directional guidance and whistling to make audible the live performance. Her eyes scanning for piles of snow, her voice-box grunted as she went back to her bed. Hands taking prisoners amongst the chaos of her hair, all forced to a ponytail. Then her hands moved to the left ankle and untied her headscarf, which resisted being detached from her pirate pants. After the ordeal and tying the headscarf on her head, her hands once again took charge and opened a sack of her favorites: perogies. Albeit, her mind had found it funny that merchants reference them as dumplings, but she figured that perogies was mere pirate-talk.

"H-haauu"

"Looks like someone’s awake finally, dzień dobry Ashuri~"

"Ah. Good morrow to you too, Saddie~... Let Red sleep some more."

"I won’t if yah use yer witchery on these perogies."

"Oh okay. Infern-"

"No! The other spell sleepy head... Ow! Yah magic-pinch’d me."

"Love hurts~ like you always say."

"I mean it not that-"

"Want your dumplings?~"

"... Tak..."

"Good, now lemme do it. Inferius!"

"H-hot hot! Ah! Okay. They’re on the plates."

"Finally."

"Yeah, and finally no burnmarks on them. G-gah, Ashuri!~"

Pounced like a leopard, Ashuri’s hands pincered while her body held down the squeamish Saddie. And so soon the pouncing, so soon Ashuri’s hands rose up and Saddie flinched. With an ancient smile forming on her face, Ashuri yanked Saddie’s cheeks around. And being a cornered goat, Saddie’s hands overthrew and pinned Ashuri to the ground. A dust cloud fled the scene upon impact, yet static was the two bodies that they were deadlocked into an intensive staring contest. But both lost the contest as their bodies collapsed giggling, Saddie toppling over Ashuri.

"Got me good, Ashuri~"

"Yeah, yeah but I dirtied your undershirt."

"And I apologize for dirtyin’-"

"No, no. I can easily magic the dirt away."

"... And making holes in yer leggings."

"Nothing a lil’ weaving can’t fix. Plus, remember, this was due to a random slice."

"D’oh."

"Yeah - so we eating?~"

"Just one thing~"

"Hmph. Hocus-"

"On second thought, eating sounds delicious."

"That’s right!"

And so they resumed their spots on their floor-beds, and so soon Red woke up to eat with the gang. No conversations transpired as all the passions were stirred for the morning; upon each one finishing, each wore their usual street attire. Red merely equipped his trident; Ashley magicked into her red dress with the orange neck-tie held by a yellow skull-talisman, soon taking care of her flowing hair into two long ponytails which made it seemed her hair was moustache-shaped. For Saddie, she equipped her pirate-coat while wrapping up any exposed skin in bandages.

"Hey Saddie, you got my head-band?"

"One that looks like an orange tiara ‘n’ compliments the orange cuffs and tail o’ yer dress? If so, got it... right here!"

"Thanks. Oh! Here’s your bobby pin."

"Wondering where that lil’ fella went. Anyways, let’s get oure feet dress’d and arm usselvan."

[2.]

And so with their bodies moving around, the three would soon travel down the abandoned apartment. Some folk, that thought intelligently as them, smiled and waved at them as they passed by, the three returned the gesture. Reaching the stairs, a smirk formed on Saddie’s lips and she shoved both Ashuri and Red.

"Beat yah to the bottom!"

"Gah!... So you wanna play dirty, Red~"

"Of course, Ashley."

"He he he, yer slow- hey no cheating! Yah flyin’ squirt."

"Bleh!~"

"Alright. Tallyho!"

"W-wah!... Humph. You crazy Saddie?"

"Tak tak tak tak tak- ow. You actually slapp’d me."

"Don’t scare me like that."

"C’mon~ Anyways, since I’m on yer laps- ahhhhhh! Ow..."

"It wasn’t a long fall, such is the creativity of your ways. But I’ll play doctor for you my Thief~"

"Nie, nie."

"Yes, yes. Sit still, crazy... Nothing serious, just bruises; just give me a moment."

"My skin conceals the true pain."

"Your bones, veins and muscles are fine."

"Not that- g-gah... Mmmm. Now wasn’t that hard to give a kiss?"

"Maybe communicate it better you Goat?~"

"Baaaaaaah."

"He he he he. Another one for the hurt Goat~"

"Thanks~"

"Let’s get a move-on, anyways you messed my talisman up again."

"Fix it, fix it. I’ll peak the front door and determine if it’s safe."

"Go ahead."

"... Woah, cześć Mister."

"Ah, Saddie, good to see you. Anyways, leaving again with your-"

"For the last time, she’s nae me girlfriend!"

"Sure, sure, lil’ brat. Anyways, want some maps and places to hit?"

"Yes, ‘n’ keep an eye on oure room again."

"Loot room only or-"

"The whole room, lumpen-proles are goin’ to vacate the alleys; no thanks to the policja ‘n’ weather ‘n’ all that."

"I understand, yeah the snow’s a tell-tale sign. Anyways, I got a mansion plan, cathedral layout and some sketches of an abandoned cultist complex."

"I presume the abandoned part be true to its words."

"Last a land-pirate’s been there, he suspected nothing."

"Nic."

"Nothing. Though he did left before sundown, said he heard weird noises and wished to not humour them."

"I can only imagine~ Anyways, we three can pilfer something from there."

"Ah great, I want to have something returned back on these streets: a gold scepter."

"Bit heavy Mister, ‘specially if we find loot ‘n’ all.

"Ah, but there’s the thing, ‘tis small."

"Alright, done deal."

"See yah by day’s end, Saddie."

"Do widzenia."

"Oh hello Ashley and Red."

"Hello Mister."

"Ashuri!~"

"Right here Saddie~"

"Isn’t it pretty, all the snowflakes dancin’?"

"Not as pretty as you, my Pirate~"

"Oh!~ Well, you maybe a Witch-in-trainin’, but yah hex’d my heart-!"

"He he, gotcha Saddie~"

"Arrgh, fly like the snowflakes or be pepper’d by me snowball barrage!"

"Bomb me if you can."

"Argh!"

"C’mon Red, let’s retreat further and prepare to be a staff-scepter."

"Roger that, let’s go before Saddie makes ture on her promise."

"Run run while yah can, but yah can’t hide from me. Ha ho! I hear that transformation, think a giant snowball stops this pirate!"

"Enough to slow you down~"

"Hee-hoo! Those are some tough ones, but I’m closin-in~"

"Watch out, ærial bomb!"

"Oj nie. Hup!"

"He, he, he. Alright, let's end this; where are we going this time?"

"To a cultist complex, I heard from th’ Mister there be a golden scepter ‘n’ some fine loot."

"Hm-hmm! I like that Saddie."

"Cultists"

"Look: they seem not to come 'til Sundown, Red. If we just get there on time 'n' steal it, then mission accomplish."

"Okay, because I don't want to face another mass battle again."

"I can't even promise that, Red. Anyways, Saddie, got the usual stuff?"

"Got me blackjack, hook ‘n’ rope, flintlocks and this convenient-"

"Shh. Or every other thief will want it, Saddie. Anyways, where’s the general location?"

"Near the posh district, Red yah awake enough to fly us to there?"

"S-sure, by broom we travel!"

Wisping by, dashes of red, orange, purple and grey zoom through the air. Patting her coat, Saddie yanks out a bunny-doll and her cheeks redden upon sight. Tucking it back in, Ashley turns around to only blush back but with a smile, cocked head and closed eyes.

"What is it, Saddie?~"

"Uh-uh. Just the sights."

"Yeah they must be beautiful, but not enough to distract yourself-"

"Hey!... Whatever. Anyways, I forgot to give yah this back."

"What?... Oh, my bunny-doll! Thanks for keeping it safe. Missed you so much. Anyways, much more farther?"

"Welcome. Anywho, actually I think ‘tis that one. The sketch ‘n’ location gels together well. Let’s drop into that hole there."

"Will do Saddie, but prepare the flintlock."

"I’ll also keep an eye on the perimeter as we lower, Red and Saddie."

"As loud as a tap, friendly as a rooftop with guards, cold as a lit fireplace and alive as a leafless tree. Yet, me eyes trick me not; Ashuri, Red, yah see any threats?"

"No."

"What be lurkin' in these shadows that hath yet to reveal themselves? Then again, what do I know o’ cults?"

And so the two passengers' feet landed on the ground, now able to stabilize the human frame. Red morphs back into his impish form and snowflakes stir about here now in the royal throne - crystallizing rot. Saddie's arms nabs a pebble and chucks it at the room, the floor shrieked but move it did not. On upon a nod, the three carefully marched forward to the throne in lieu of not having a scepter, much less a golden one; upon reaching it, nothing of the sorts but mere rot encapsulated by ice. However, Ashley's mind humored the oddity and hexed a fire on the ice, the flame tortured both ice and rot but no key nor secret was revealed.

"The day may be near high noon, but methinks to not hassle on with this room alone."

"Agreed, let's stick together though; those whispers scared even a land-pirate away, imagine if we split up."

"I agree with Ashley, plus more the numbers, the better we can actually toss a room over."

"Aye, plus time's on oure side. Fortuna blesses us all three a slow day. I saw a building o'er there had a hole in the wall, we can bust into it 'n' infiltrate from there."

"Aye, either its hidden or lost in one of these buildings or we'll stumble into the real loot. Let's go Red~"

"Coming Ashley, just this painting is weird."

"We got a minute to spare, Ashley. Let's inspect this painting o'er 'ere... I agree, but let's see what's behind this."

"Stand back. Ahem... Hocus-Pocus!"

"And goes fried the unsaleable art-piece, yet 'ere now reveals a nifty box... In 'ere there's a silver key, anybody seen a silver door?"

"Ha ha ha, no. But I did saw a golden tile under the rug of the throne."

"Really, let's see if Red's eyes are eagle-esque... 'Tis true, Red be correct, yet will this key work?... Alas, 'tis nae that easy but fo' sho' if the colour corresponds to a door, then we have to find a golden key."

"Let's hurry, before your Fortuna decides to suspend her gracious time gift."

And so the three rushed as one and the building's door braced for all its life, yet yelping widely before planting its body on the ground. But the fury still charged the forward, they dodged around the clutter and found a crack in the wall. Again the Hocus-Pocus hex was commanded, and the wall obeyed by crumbling to never-ending pieces. A torch screams to life and roars in the darkness, scaring the dark away as the torch challenges all that even get so near to its coverage. The Witch-in-training seeing a candle had waited to see another before tempting an idea, and so another candle exposed itself after feeling the warm embrace of light. To the amusement of Red and the sudden shock in Saddie's frame, the hallway banished the dark away as the candles revolted in their war cries.

Continuing forth, they looked for any hatch, door or even gate to pass by. Yet none solicited itself, not even closed ones; all hid when the light won the struggle for now, but all were long gone before the light had won. Saddie's lil' blue jingle decided that mental creep was only a warm-up, now it took progressive steps into shaming the thought as mere over reaction. However, the building at last catches the eyes of all three; finally regaining their long misdirected attention, not that it had provided the misdirections while guiding them three; and for capturing the minds, it joyed itself by granting a scene they wished to stumble upon earlier. Red pulls out the silver key and let's his lil' legs scurry him to the door; yet his neck is doubly yanked by the magic of Ashley and the pirate strength of Saddie's arms.

"I'll take it from here, never know with these traps. Hey Ashuri, can yah levitate the table 'n' chuck it?"

"Worth a try... Seems to be working and he-uh!"

"... Well at least yah hast something to work on, mój mał-"

"Saddie, cut it out, or I'm leaving you behind!"

"~Sorry, please don't let yer hair go white!~"

"Okay... Let's try again... and he-uh!"

"Well that's certainly farther, half-way across from here to the door. I guess they didn't want cultists to suffer."

"True, Red, true. Methinks it be safe in spite o' some oddities."

"Well?..."

"Red, th' honours to yah."

"Sheez, took you two long enough. Okay, let's just put you in, turn, twist the nob and... presto!"

"Well, the room's lit 'n' 'tis another throne room. What in th' Peck?"

"Well there's our golden scepter, Red, and a golden key, Saddie. Let at it so we can get outta here."

"Indeed, the hallway robb'd oure time far too long; oh great, the obvious dares to show up right now."

[3.]

"Yeah, that or a gust of wind. But hey, I got an idea: Red~"

"Why did I accept becoming an aide again?"

"Alright, let's get goin’ before we face what that land-pirate hath not!"

"Hang on tight, Saddie, we'll zoom faster than I even can handle."

"Cap'n Morgan, spare me!"

And so the same wisp crew from before had become a zipping crew, slicing through the darkness that squashed the light's rule. Doing insult to injury to the darkness, purple bolts emerging from Ashley's fingertips took charge and arced wherever it felt like as it punished the dark. Sparking another torch, the flame trailed their path but was equally as helping as the lightning bolts - in the reverse direction. Seeing snow that emerged from their entrance, they sharply turned and all flew wildly into different directions while landing at the same snow. All correcting their own bodies, nothing emerged from the familiar dark but seeing the sky had made all their bodies shake harder than cold weather could ever. The starry sky was about to wage its round in the never-ending war for domination over the sky, and the three made a quick trip to the golden tile.

"I got the key, Ashley and Saddie."

"I got th' bag, Ashuri 'n' Red."

"Well go, and see to it what it is!"

"Alright, key's in place and..."

"Another golden scepter?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ Who dares open my safe! Who dares take what belongs to me! Who dares, who dares?"

"Us three!"

"Fools thou be! So be it! Be it that all three shall suffer, and th' dæmon loosing all powers whence I'm done with him."

"I like yah to try me, yah'll struggle."

"A pirate... No, more than that. I sense that wicked blood stained on thee, but thou not be that. Bah! I shall inquire into thee whence I have enslaved the Witch and drain the Imp's life away."

"You won't even place a scratch on my Saddie!"

"Fine, but kill me with Medieval chivalry for this figure, a ex-Master Mason. Wait, that stench is of holy incense as well. Pirate! Whom be thy mother? But really, had she slain those freaks?"

"W-wait... Yah mean them? If so... yes. She did slay them to save me, risking her life for mines."

"I only haunt this ground if I smell of those freaks, otherwise I am at war with them always. I admit, the grounds isn't what it ought to be - yet a perfect field to trick them bastards. One question? Why must thou take me Golden Scepter, the one in the golden box?"

"Lies hath short legs ex-Master, so lemme tell yah the truth... Money 'n' survival."

"Well, that was the truth. Not the one I wanted to hear, but the one I knew already. I can provide an exact rep- wait that other scepter works as well. Take that and leave mines alone - trust me, no one will survive the serious powers it can emit. Not even I could hold it for a few minutes, but that shall trick the person making the contract... And trick the others buyers as well... What art ye sad, all three of ye younglins?

"I'm Ashley, or Ashuri for Saddie, here... We wrecked your place basically."

"W-what, I say ye three hath done spectacular to go beyond the constrictions of the complex to do what ye three were compelled, yet always choosing to enact, to do. The destruction is cathartic, yet I felt yer hearts act as one, moving as one arm and thy spirits as one. Withal, I shall grant yah a way home. I bid ye farewell and safe travels! God speed!"

"Bye!"

"W-what, how'd yah get up here without even alerting me? I-I."

"Fear nae, Mister. Just luck came in handy today 'n' got us home quick. Anyways, yer scepter."

"Indeed, the rumors were true. Thank yah Saddie, I'll find a way to repay yah back."

"Save that for later, let's make sure infightin' be kept under wraps. Last I need are the policja thinkin' it wise to hear us."

"Aye, well good afternoon and evening to ye."

"Ashuri 'n' Red-"

"We know."

"Yeah... wanna enjoy th' scenery once again, Ashuri 'n' Red?~"

--------------------------------


So really, I got nothing to truly report on but four things: "ghosting from the net," principles/disciplines, work-loads and vague hinting at what to expect for Sunday.

The former two are interconnected, so let's at it. Now I will be ghosting from Steemit, nowhere else, for a day - so expect it to be the worst when it comes to comms. Why is it this way? Because I have to be principled and have to deal with "rather nice" things. Less cryptically, I have to live up to the principles I have thought through to be right, for me, when I came back to my post. And fo' sho' I won't be having any sorts of "fun" in this blizzard environment, no sir-ree!

Which leads to now work-loads, or the less cryptic explanation. It should lighten up by Sunday or Monday, but my workload is high due to people, let's say, above me deciding I have to do more than what I have been given so far. I refuse to go any further, because my principles and lessons from military comms taught me so. That much I am willing to admit right there, and, regardless, let's not kid ourselves. One detail can bring down entire things, or lead to that collapse/dissolvement.

Now unto something "positive" for the end: Sunday ("because it's my fun day! Woah! I don't have to work day!" But I actually still have to work, yet it will be light yeah). Anyways, it shall be another Bananafish feature - those in the know already know what will happen for the #finishthestory submission and the haiku I got to spend some time connecting back to the #finishthestory while respecting the individuality of the two. Anywho, the one thing I shall explain for the FTS thing is that it'll involve two old character, the Grunt and Dark Myst of Red-Flame, back into the FTS contests. Anyways, spicy prompt @f3nix, but I got the spicy finisher ready for those other chefs. I'll show them the meaning of true pain and how to dissect things properly of which, those creators, should know what the hell they're dissecting. Anyways, initiate Operation Overlord. Roger, understood.

The New Angel Saga:

@theironfelix - Adviser readjustment

@theironfelix - Flipping the Script

@theironfelix - Shu'ualathoi

@theironfelix - Portal Inferos Scriptor

@theironfelix - Connexione

@theironfelix - The Spirits’ Cave Course

@theironfelix - Pretzel's apocalypse

@theironfelix - A childhood acquaintance

@theironfelix - A Divine Intervention

@theironfelix - Incident 111a

@theironfelix - A campfire story for It

@theironfelix - Cap'n Wither

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- No possible link for the Xyrop drawing -

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Hi theironfelix,

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Like how you presented the story the interaction between Saddie and Ashley and Ashuri, you have spent a lot of time for description and reading it it feels like you are there present too. Like the dialogs that makes a story interesting the interaction between heroes. Entertaining story and well presented :)

UwU ~ Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliments! Anyways, I understand and I like your message in spite of few gramatically things. You got a keen eye, I’ll say that; bene nota that Ashuri and Ashley are just two different names for the same person. Anyways, have a great day @stef1!

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What I enjoyed the most is the fast dialogues between the three. Joyful and fresh, with the characters described in great detail. I'm sorry for your workload but happy for the curie.. congrats tovarish!

UwU ~ Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliments! And thanks once more for noticing the usage of life-speed dialogues and the detail-crafting. Honestly, despite knowing I just stir my passions here, I enjoy thinking the pace of dialouge, the cut/spit backs between characters, playing off the awkwardness and taking lil’ steps whenever possible/practical. The same in world-building, but nothing works better for the orator (id est, third/removed person narrator) than to make everything cartoonish/alive. While I disagree with that “show don’t tell” rule as I think it funny that writers only tell in a more fancier way, I do agree with just not explaining the obvious and having fun with the reader’s senses as they develop the film in their heads. Withal, if a writer really wished to show something, they can become an artist as well to avoid the limits of language.

B4C93328-F60D-426B-BA73-6728ED897D2A.gif

Your idea about the show don't tell rule makes me think.. probably some good exceptions are needed and welcome.

The drawing Xyrop made for you is lovely and it's a perfect fit to this story.

You put in too many adorable moments to fawn over, Felix!

All of the blushes, the pouncing and playful tussling, the teasing, the little smiles, their race on the stairs and the snowflakes scene and the bunny and....

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You showed how precious the memory and their bond is with those details. Even going in knowing that this part of the story has already come and gone, you've the reader hoping right from the get go that there is a happy 'ending' and that there are more of these stories to come for Saddie (Goat), Ashley (Ashuri) and Red (that amazingly cool imp)!

Normally, I'd say that I'd personally prefer a bit more details of the speaker when there are multiple speakers and lines of dialogue (which was well done, especially between the three friends) to be better able to visualize how each character was speaking. (Tone of voice, where their head was tilted, how they were holding themselves, where their eyes were focused, etc.) But for this, as it was a memory, and as you wrote in these fine details in the places that were between Saddie, Ashley & Red, it furthered the thoughts from your intro. That as time goes on a memory changes and the less important parts to a person tend to become 'hazy'. The memory wasn't thought on so much because of the goal of the mission to get the scepter but of the friends and how they did it together.

The action kept the story fun, my favorites being the mad flight on Red and the assault on the door as I pictured the scene from the other side of it and the three being framed in the empty doorway. 😂 I also was happy that you didn't have them split up to cover more ground as it wouldn't have (1) made for more scenes with them together and (2) as you said, the whispers scared even the land-pirates so they were better off as a group.

"I'm Ashley, or Ashuri for Saddie, here... We wrecked your place basically."

Great line to explain both their expressions and their remorse for the destruction. (Plus imagining her saying it had me laughing, as that's what they did!)

-To your ending message, thanks for the heads up to your increased workload. I suppose it's a mark of respect to the quality of what you do, that they want more and not less from you. 🤗

P.S. Congrats for receiving a vote from the Curie community on this terrific story! (What's your pick of victory song?)

UwU ~ Thanks for the compliments and thanks for reading! I know, that drawing was priceless when Xyrop made it. Also, not sorry for all those “hnng” moments. Look: I had to it to ‘em, both ye readers and the characters. And to do so, all of them were necessary, for the balance and stability of this depressed site called Steemit. Anyways, I didn’t exactly plan on mudering someone through cuteness! Oj nie...

This is the Policja, surrender now the Weapons of Mass Hnng!

Yah’ll nae take me alive, Policja!

Anyways, while I’m on this underground tram escaping the Policja, comms m-may ge-ge-get jammed. Anywho, I guessed it worked with doing those actions to capture the essence of the adolescent relationship between the two. (For explicit clarification, Ashley in her first-ever appearence in a game was declared in the USA to be 15yrs old by Nintendo of America. So, with my first published story with her, I decided to mark that as her canonical age at that point of time within my Monoverse, multigalaxy setting. So this taking place before the Spirits’ Cave Course where Ashley and Saddie definitely split at that point (for which I shall forever leave in the dark as to why), it makes sense why I would say adolescent.) Only expect more when it gets to their teens; which may or may not reflect a relationship I see with two of my childhood lesbian friends. (However: if one wants to make comparisons rn, I wasn’t Red nor are the characters fully reflective of their actual personalities nor an omission to their actual abilities. Though it is sad I haven’t found a witch that can hex things, that’s friends with an imp and is gay with a thief/pirate.)

I agree on the essence of memories, that conscious-unconscious entity. I think we can’t do much more justice than we have already on the matter. And I got a heart to give at least a “bittersweet” or “pyrrhic loss” endings to characters in my stories. I never could find any satisfaction in them not doing anything to change what they struggled, nor making the enemies gleeful when they are slain and, I, choosing instead to make the enemy humiliated to have even gotten the victory with all their loses. In a World where the Media can spin the tales of tragedies for the one’s struggling to change society and the status-quo always firm and erect in spite of heavy losses on their end, we need to have the responsibilities as writers to show how every struggle has its bittersweetness for the struggling and humiliation for the “victors” that klooped the lights out of the struggling “loosers” of conflict. More-so a social responsibility as well as James Baldwin outlines well.

I shall repeat in essence the same witb dialouges as well, which may haunt you when it comes to one of my future prompts. Let’s say it’s all dialouge as a starter. I can hear already half of the regular #finishthestory crew freaking out, I swear it isn’t because It isn’t relaying that information to me. However, It is still rocking in that Blue Government suit, black tie, slim suitcase and having that nice birb kestrel on Its shoulder.

I totally agree on the comments relating to the action part. I hate the split-up trope usually found in horror stories, for military and storyline reasons. First military: a squad, the smallest detail before we get to two-person details, will never split up, even in “relatively” safe environments; there’s always a battle-buddy even in the case of split-ups, but more people sticking together means the mission can get accomplished faster and troop welfare isn’t compromised. Second for story reasons: it’s always a convient medium to kill off characters and get cheap scare scenes when collective scarring can totally reveal how truly scary a place can be and how powerful entities can be; to split them up is to show the group’s stupidity and literal hacking off of the Whole which now the moreness of this Sum is annihilated and nobody can play-off each other to better each other. (Funny my first story on Steemit was literally a military infiltration story for @dirge’s halloween contest a half-year where they come to see the Compound as [expunged, requesting data... ... ... permission denied, generating access link to override explanation... ... ... access granted, click here to access data]. Man, I keep constantly shifting my respect to the narrator’s voice.)

Yeah, lil quirks do add up to nice things like that. Hopefully, since I finally can exist finally (my speciality when no-one else can pull it off: the double usage of words when one can suffice it). Anyways thanks one more times for the compliments. My victory jingle basically.

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Wow! Such a great story. The musical aides were marvelous too, but made me feel like a slowpoke for running out of music before the second aide came in hahaha

I enjoyed this story very much. I love Dungeons & Dragons, and the feeling of this story for me was that masterfully designed and carried out quest. The interactions were lovely, and the team had such a synergy... I'd wish every member in a party was this well adjusted to each other! The dialogs were very dynamic, and I admire you for that. One of my great weaknesses when writing is that I don't handle dialogues well, but reading such well constructed conversation is of invaluable help. Thanks for that.

I also always enjoy antagonic treasure-keepers that are as well behaved and rational as this one. No need for a big fight when you've got the power of words, right?

Thanks for a magnificent story, I'm glad I made time for reading it : )

UwU~ Thanks for reading and the compliments! I love it when I pick music-aides, usually try to find lengthy music so people have enough time to read before the music ends. Anyways, I wrote this in advance of an adolescent friendship that was already developed but still being lived out. So I had fun showing how developed, yet with high potential~ involved, the three’s friendship are and how much they care for each other. Also dialogues are my favorite thing within stories, just way to pass time and a subtle way to root in lore and background explanations while avoiding the “show and tell” aspect of writing.

Of course you’ll have to be smart about writing dialogue so people think it “natural.” Regardless, glad to have helped yah in this department. And I like watching D&D stuff, never had a serious serial campaign however. Anywho, I never liked senseless fightings without even a selfish and irrational reason for the fight to begin with. Or to say, if it has no reason nor even an irrational logic to back it up, I might not even dare to write the fight in. So, with a lack of time to write the ending, I just quickly wrote this encounter in but weaved in the Master Mason’s involvement since they entered the compound (as referenced in the dialogue).

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