Your friends with cold fingers might just know more than you. Punday Monday 86, Comedy Open Mic 47
Welcome to Punday Monday!
New To Punday?
Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.
How To Make a Pun
This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun
Rules for the PUN-test:
- If you hope to win a prize, your pun must be your original work
- Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.
Last Week's Punday Monday:
Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!
Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winners of This Week's PUNday Monday Are...
(GIF by @littlescribe)
Rookie of the Week:
There were wonderful puns. A plethora of puns… but only from our veterans. Come join in the merry-making!
Pocket Choice Awards:
Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here:
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/6kgi4-pocket-friday
@acolucky, chosen by @paul.atreides, retakes the throne!
POCKET Choice Winner's Circle Season One:
@aloha-creations, @professorbromide, @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.
POCKET Choice Winners' Circle Season Two:
@ablaze, @coinsandchains, @dollarsandsense, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @jk6276, @acolucky, @deceth
Grand Prize (which isn’t bigger than the other prizes, just grander):
Best Pun
Best Pun of the Entire Week
Best Overall Pun
DRUMROLL PLEASE.....
@paul.atreides for the third week in a row!!!
And holy heckfire, what a joke. It even inspired a character I played at ComedySportz last night. No one else knew, but I knew my character was named Tiny.
And What Prizes Do They Win, You Ask?
Full Strength, 100% Upvote!
Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions from @improv. This week they also got votes from @freewritehouse! They will next week, too! Together, these upvotes could total in excess of five whole cents!
SBI
Which are little bitty upvotes on all your content forever. See @steembasicincome for details. I’ll send one to all of our qualified entrants this week!
Our entrants were:
@acolucky, @paul.atreides
Our winners get bonus prize SBI for winning!
This week only, since our participants and our winners are the same, they each got ANOTHER bonus SBI!
Congrats, @acolucky, @paul.atreides
Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote and a @tipu tip!
This Week's Pun Topic Is:
President’s Day
Garth, you do this one:
(if she were a president, she’d be Baberaham Lincoln)
Now me,
What’s the 44th President’s favorite vegetable? Barackoli.
I'm So Good at Puns
If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!
@comedyopenmic nomination:
Who do I nominate for @comedyopenmic’s comedy challenge? I nominate the winners! This past week’s winners were:
Sponsors, related content, prizes, and money
Sponsors!
@improv/ @freewritehouse
I mean, am I a sponsor of my own contest? Yes? I guess? Also, because I’m involved in @freewritehouse and they’ve/we’ve hosted Punday Monday events over on that page, I’d like to suggest that they (we) are also a sponsor! Regardless, check out the @freewritehouse community! Furthermore, they/we’re using their SP to upvote your puns!
@curie!
We are one of Curie’s chosen communities! Prizes have doubled in season 2, thanks to @curie’s sponsorship! Curie curators do tremendous work making sure unrecognized authors of quality content get recognized and rewarded! They do great work sifting through the heaps of posts to find the undiscovered gems.
Related Content:
- Punday Monday Year One-Day contest results HERE
- @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
- @steembasicincome has a contest round-up (that includes us) where you can find more opportunities to win SBI.
- @contestkings features our contest and MORE!
Outside referrals that benefit me.
Coinbase:
Cryptocurrency investment wallet Join HERE and we’ll both get $10 of BTC
- Hot tip, I buy BTC on pro.coinbase.com, then send it to bittrex to trade for Steem and send steem to my wallet here. It’s the most efficient way with the fewest fees I’ve found. If you’ve found better, let me know. - I learned from someone else that buying LTC and sending it to bittrex then trading it for BTC then trading that for STEEM is the least-fees way. Can someone confirm?
Robinhood:
Investment platform buying/selling stocks Join HERE and we’ll both get a share of a stock (probably worth ~$4)
Earn.com:
Small tasks for small rewards. Need a business or .edu email, Join HERE and we’ll both get $1 of BTC
Mannabase:
Sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency Join HERE
Swift:
Yet another attempt at a UBI Join HERE
Swell:
If you’re interested in more traditional investing, Swell invests in stocks that have a positive social impact according to their standards, and has a referral program whereby they’ll match your first $50 investment. CLICK HERE for company website.
Hi improv,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Hey @improv,
In an effort to try to give people more transparency and feedback on what our judges think of their posts, we thought we'd run an experiment and give people their score from teh judges.
Your post achieved a score of 3/5.
Thanks for the lovely entry to our contest. Now some posts do really well, others not so well, and some could use some improvement. We hope the above feedback is helpful in making you a star.
No long winded Rhyme this week, No time... So it's Go Time for my Fun Pun:
Every one knows the king of "Vice" President Cheney shot a guy in the head in a hunting accident.
What most people don't know, is that it was a big cover up, the President had actually taken the shot.
Yes, the other hunter got Bush-Wacked!
Now Rewarding SBIs, make stupid comments and win:
Lol, I definitely needed that laugh. Now to see if any others pop up to top it. Good luck in the draw. Sadly my vp is in the red :(
arrrggghhh you just did not say that... you'll need to do Pence-nance for that, Other wise I'll need to bring you to trial in front a marsupial for no reason...in other words Take you to Kangaroo Court on Trump'ed up charges!
Yea I punned it!
Better be careful though, I hear his lawyers like Washington apples. They will also Grant free immunity if you rub their Adams apple. :)
A line was crossed and it wasn't the Mason Dixon!
I Adamantly abhor your insinuations!
Haha, nice :) (points to vp and tells it "hurry up already") It then responds, "stop upvoting everything and it will Fillmore."
Did you know ;) nothing is lost if you upvote when your vote value is below whatever level people are telling you to worry about.
Indeed I do. I have even dropped vp down to 70 to see how low it will go and not give anything. And I hope my comments make up for some of them too. Any I drop are done with great meaning. :)
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
Lol, omg you kill me :) Sitting here chuckling quite loudly.
Yous should be bushed!
Here's mine
Don't get Mad son! You should spring in to the Action Jackson. I'm Not going Nix-some of your eyes dear like a Sci-Fi character, after all didn't Edgar while eating Rice on a Bourro say Carter held a RayGun before a Bush. Oh Bam! a nother Trump'd up story claiming to be Washing a ton of Grants brought by a True man that came to Roost on a veldt of land Grant'd from having a Taft'd pig in Polk by your Taylor turned cameraman as he Pierce's your ideas?
Or am I Hayes-y as the character Arthur on a Chest or, looking for a Alligator Gar in a Field? I can go and Fill more of the Page but then I'd have to Buck the cannon of Harry's Son the bathroom Tyler who believes Adam's Van & Urine Fill more air with Pierc'ng oder, then butcher Clint's Tongues out on a Cool ledge Hard-n-ing in Cleveland! But the truth is Will's son,said John's son wanted get Link'in to Jeff's son or start Washing a ton Eyes in a shower. But first he needed to Drive a Ford to borrow a Hoover of My cousim Rochelle or as they say in French "Mon Roe", at her home being watched by her crazy brother, so to calm hime down they gave him a spiked beer yea it was a Mic my kin Lee! ..... Yes I did just list all the presidents (cheated with adams, roosevelt and bush - they only deserved one each)
@payoutbot is not a program I'm just a founding member of the Steeminati who pays out the worthy, by following the bretherns good deeds on the blockchain, by paying out like a robot!
Sweet!
Posted using Partiko Android
Your balance is below $0.3. Your account is running low and should be replenished. You have roughly 10 more @dustsweeper votes. Check out the Dustsweeper FAQ here: https://steemit.com/dustsweeper/@dustsweeper/dustsweeper-faq
thanks for the help rich !!!!!!
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
I don't celebrate President's Day like I did in the past. Things are too conspiratorial now and I'm not russian to any conclusions. Kenya understand what I am saying?
Thank you! https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@acolucky/an-update-from-minnesota-com-46
Yes, IKE be inclined to agree with you.
You young'ns Taylor'd that to Pierce the Hayes my serious concentration, I'm Mad, son!
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
My buddy told me that he doesn't celebrate President's Day because most of them were dirty rotten scoundrels. He asked me if I agreed and if I had a favorite and I said, "It's TRUMAN."
Ba-da-bing, it's funny because "It's Truman" sounds a lot like "It's true, man" so I was able to answer both of the bloke's questions in one fell swoop.
Lol, I almost used that Truman line with one of my replies. Glad I wasn't the only one who put some Nix-on Truman's name. It sounds goofy/corny, but hey it is a puntastic day, so we can all af-Ford a Trump'ed up joke.
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
"...In French she would be called 'la renarde' and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her."
Not mine, Wayne's of course, but I couldn't resist. If only my grade 12 exams were on Wayne's world and Adam Sandler movies, I would have aced it!
But I do have an extensive collection of name tags and hair nets.
Everyone has the pun within.
Posted using Partiko Android
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Even though it's not your original pun, we honor your enjoyment of a good chuckle! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
I always name my source M.A.W... Well almost always. My husband and I have contention over a cassowary image taken at a wildlife park, that I entered in a steemit contest.
He is quite talented with a camera, I point my not so smart phone! phone and... Oh my god, my phone just predicted I wanted to write run . It learns from my writing. Scary, I was going to write run, cassowarys are vicious birds, have killed people.
https://steemit.com/photography/@girlbeforemirror/steemitphotochallenge-entry-ornithophobia
More shocking however is realising, it's a 3 yr old post! I'm a tired old steem engine.
Speaking of nonsense, looking at what I just wrote here, I think morning coffee is in order before I check out the freewrite. My weekend highlight, hack writing delight. 💃💃💃💃
That is a funky bird.
Posted using Partiko Android
I'm finally able to claim my prize! Here's my post:
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@paul.atreides/5-minute-freewrite-friday-prompt-phone
At long last
Posted using Partiko Android
Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
@improv Thank you for not using bidbots on this post and also using the #nobidbot tag!