Kinda a Rough Day
As I sit here working the booth at the Baltimore Comic Con, I’m struggling a bit. It’s towards the end of the day and it can’t come soon enough. I keep sitting here thinking of my pups and my 2 boys that I’ve lost. Bandit and Kitano. Bandit left this place right before my birthday in 2015. He was my first real responsibility and I took his sudden passing insanely hard. I still struggle with it. My dogs are my world and I have a hard time coping with their loss. Tano was fine a few weeks ago and then suddenly he wasn’t. It happened within a matter of days and now he’s gone. I still cannot believe it.
I held both of my boys tight, sobbing on them while the life left them....rush of emotions flowed through me. Disbelief, anger, sadness, guilt, relief. I’ve managed to somehow push all those feeling aside but sometimes it’s just overload and the shit rises to the top and it bursts through me in various ways.
I’m sitting down on the chair outside my booth while Con goers browse what I brought. I am trying to keep my mind busy but also wanting to be honest with myself and my struggle....that’s why I’m writing this. So I can hopefully look back and see how far I’ve come in learning how to cope with the grief. That’s the plan and hope. Yet right now, All I want to do is scream at the world around me for taking away such beauty and making my world a lot smaller and darker.
Sorry to rant. Just in a strange place.
its difficult man sometimes those moments hit you hard even when there is a ton is noise and distraction around us as if its not directed at us the mind will start to wonder and one can feel small missing our pets @blewitt
Yeah I pretty much am trying to stay as busy as possible. Distraction is a good thing.
Hugs @blewitt.
Thx a ton.
Aw man, sorry to hear it was a rough one. I totally empathize as I prefer pets to people. No offense intended to present internet company of course!
It’s been 7 years since I last suffered a loss, and it still hits me at unforeseen times, but naturally fewer and further between as time goes on. All this you know of course. But I appreciate your sharing, because it reminds me to hug my boys a bit tighter and appreciate the current moments more. Hang in there.
Yeah it comes in waves. It’s always in the back of my mind but sometimes it’s just brutal. My pups are literally my world. It’s definitely a struggle figuring out how to carry on like normal while a huge part of me is no longer by my side.
Give me doggies over people, anytime...
I had to hold my last dog, as he died... (poisoned by a wanker, it happens where I am).
I know how you feel, mate.
....this probably won't help much, but at least now you're a confused commander thinking about eroticon... hopefully it will give you a smile...
https://steemit.com/blog/@lucylin/quantico-campaign-underway-kind-of-the-forces-part-1-ulog-4
Poisoned?!? What the hell happened?!? That’s awful.
They do it to cull wild dogs on the beaches (an years old BS reason, from what I see).
My doggie got caught in the poisoning spree...
Wow. That’s so awful. I’m so sorry. I’d lose my mind. Are the wild dogs that big of a problem there?
No, not really. (Just takes one tourist who hates/scared of dogs, and they go crazy..)
Here he is ...he got hit by a car and we had to drive him 450 miles to get him fixed, the little bugger..(technical vet operations not too common in these parts)
What a beautiful boy. I couldn’t even imagine. I’d literally lose my shit and make the news. Lol
sir blewitt..so sorry you were going through that, most of us can truly relate, dogs hold a special place with us, they're the best!
Thx brother. Yeah my pups are my world. I’m absolutely devastated. They are too good for us.
howdy again blewitt...yes they are, they are the best friends and companions for sure. I think God made them just for that purpose.
People laugh when I call my pups my best friends. I’m totally serious. Lol
howdy again sir blewitt! oh yes sir I totally understand and agree because they love unconditionally and are totally loyal.
Are you a Christian by any chance?
I was raised Catholic but drifted greatly from it as I’ve gotten older. Religion or God and I have had a falling out that I don’t think can be repaired. I respect everyone who does have that though. I’m actually a bit envious to be honest. Death is so final to me. It’s just it. Whereas my religious friends and family all believe in something more. Something better after this place. To me it’s a lovely thought and I hope I’m wrong...but I just don’t see it. I think that’s why I struggle with loss so deeply. It’s just so final to me.
howdy back sir blewitt! I understand your doubting God, I've been there too. Well the only reason I asked is because of your dog because I'm sure you've heard the amazing testimonies of people dying and going to heaven right?
I mean doctors have verified so many facts in their stories like them leaving their bodies and watching the doctors work on them and seeing other things that they couldn't have seen because they were on the operating table and unconscious.
But anyway, quite a few of the people who have gone to heaven and then sent back have talked about their dogs being in heaven and come running up to them! lol. Even can communicate with them with something like a small child's level of brain power.
So if you were a Believer I was going to encourage you about that, that's all.
I hope that’s all true!!! Who wouldn’t want that...right? This topic is one of the only times that I HOPE I am wrong. Lol. Nothing would make me happier...that’s for sure. The bond I’ve been lucky enough to hold with my pups is one of the more pure and perfect things in my life.