Sugarmama : a Drop in the Ocean post on Pride
Being proud is allowed
Recently, I visited @iamthegray's blog and found a post that I thought was intriguing. Most of his posts are - but this one struck a chord. He asked if women should make more money than men, and why?
Well, I'm so glad he asked! Not only did I get to smile, but I also thankfully got half of my Pride post written in his comment section! Thanks @iamthegray!
As far as my official stance on this, I'm sure that you'll infer it through the reading of this post. I personally like to abstain from attempts to convert people from my way of thinking. Having said that, I certainly don't mind letting others have a first-hand peek into my life.
The following is my opinion, my experience, and my perspective. Though I went to the University and graduated with my college degree, plans changed from what was originally intended. Our little boy took over our hearts and minds. Based on that, I decided that instead of pursuing my career, I wanted to be a stay at home mom and raise our children. My husband also valued this concept for our family, so we decided to choose this lifestyle. It came with many sacrifices, but we never regretted our choice.
For years, I worked from our home in various creative projects - some very lucrative for us, some not. Last year, I decided to take an opportunity to use my skills in a real job. When I began working there, I was earning 1/3 of what my husband earned. By the end of the year, I had risen in the company and was making at least twice what my husband earned.
How do you think this made my husband feel?
Honored. Proud. Blessed
I wasn't in competition with him, and my salary wasn't a point of contention with us. As far as he was concerned, I was an asset to our family. He told me that now the world would be able to see what he has always seen in me.
In my opinion, husbands would be wise to realize that a wife is half of a partnership in this life. A strong wife is a benefit. Would a husband rather be yoked to a strong partner or a weak partner? Often, men will joke and tease one another by implying that a man with a strong wife is constantly trying to please her, and is therefore "hen-pecked."
I believe that a man who can make a strong woman happy, content, and joyful may seem subordinate, but I view this man as one of the strongest creatures on the planet. My husband was happy to let me shine and grow - without the negative connotation regarding the larger size of my paycheck. The proof of his perspective is in the nickname that he gave me when the tables were turned, and I was earning more than my his salary. I became his little "Sugarmama".
He was proud of me, and not afraid to show it. More than that, I was proud to have such a husband who would be secure enough in his own role, that he never felt the need to limit my growth or minimize my impact on our family. I appreciate still, that we are allowed to be so very proud of one another.
Image source: Money in hands
When I met my husband, he was easily making more than me. Early on, we never talked about it, because, for me, it wasn't a thing. He made more. A lot more. I never really thought about it. because it was normal.
Later in our life, when kids came, he wanted to stay home. So, I made more. Once the kids were at a better place, he went back to making money... oh, in the beginning, a bit less than me. Gradually, he's been doing well, and last year or two, he's out earning me. It's normal.
... am I less of a person because I am not his equal in money? or does it affect me one way or another?
My husband works for himself. He's taken a concept, and turned it into an amazing, creative and extremely talented, successful business man.
He's strong, smart, sexy, and successful. He deserves what he makes.
Now, let's go back and read all that again, only, here's the real story:
When I met my wife, she was easily making more than me. Early on, we never talked about it, because, for me, it wasn't a thing. She made more. A lot more. I never really thought about it. Because for us, it was natural.
Later in our life, when kids came, she wanted to stay home. So, I made more. Once the kids were at a better place, she went back to making money... oh, in the beginning, a bit less than me. Gradually, she's been doing well, and last year or two, she's out earning me. It's normal.
... am I less of a person because I am not her equal in money? or does it affect me one way or another?
My wife works for herself. She's taken a concept of hers, and turned it into an amazing, creative and extremely talented, successful business woman.
She's strong, smart, sexy, and successful. She deserves what she makes.
I am proud, and in love with a strong, sexy, smart, successful woman.
Period.
Both versions were amazing!!!!! :)
A couple in love is a beautiful thing to see. Thank you for sharing this comment - it added a GREAT perspective to anyone who needs to see it!
I think @iamthegray would appreciate it too - seeing as his post sparked this in the first place hehehehee
So glad you and your husband are such a great team where the love is clearly shining through. Same here. Things took a severe tumble financially at some point but love was always more important than the bank account and so we got through as a family. That's what we're proud of, that we were able to make it work and be happy no matter what. There is so much more to life and living than money. xxx
I love that so many people are leaving comments of how this is how it is for THEM too!!!! I love sharing that heart with my friends! Helps us to remember what truly matters (and remind one another when we forget!) hehehehe
Love to you Drazzy!! :) (oops - linked into the wrong account LOL - its dreem ;)
Go! You guys.
Make it last. Not everyone figures these things out early on. Sounds like you have a strong foundation. :)
Thanks @doctorcrypto!!!! :) coming up on 25 years :) (even though i barely look 22 hehehehe)
He's definitely a keeper <3
Awhhhhhh!
This made me tear up. He's so sweet! You're both luck to have each other! I totally agree, and there are a lot of talk and jokes about men being emasculated by their women. Just because the wives are powerful, does not mean that the husbands have to be weak (and vice-versa). It's good that your husband keeps his identity intact and still values himself; it would only be a problem if he felt inferior and weak and let himself go. But he didn't, and it's great that he can support you while also believing in himself :3
#RelationshipGoals!
I feel the same way as you.... awhhhhhhhh! hehehehehe
That's how he makes me feel everyday! a big awwwwwwww <3
Thanks for recognizing how special he is - i'll have to read him your comment hehehe
I love that he calls you his Sugarmama...I think that's what the Yeti would call me if we were ever in that position! It's really great to hear of a husband that supports his wife so fully!
hehehehehe i'm sure he would - after all...
Yeti and Sasquatch... they're practically twins ;)
hehehehe
This is awesome Dreem!! I love that your hubby feels the way he does. You are a gem with many many wonderful talents and qualities and that shouldn't be surpressed. He wants you to shine, and that makes him shine as well. You two are perfect together and make one hell of a team!!
Thank you my monchie! hehehehe We do make quite the team - and we love that about our relationship :)
and thank you for always loving me so well <3
I am glad that it as never an issue in my marriage. We were equal partners in all things. It didn't matter where the money came from or who made it, it all went into the collective pot. But I do know of marriages where it was a problem and they are no longer married.
Isn't it 75% of the problems in marriage are from finances?? It's a massive issue!
And I'm glad it wasn't an issue in your marriage either! Partnership - true partnership - isn't that the best?!?!?!?!
Thanks for sharing your story too :)
It blows me away that 75% of troubles come from finances. When we got married we were so broke haha, but I always told him that whatever we had, we had it together and we would work as a team. 15 years later we still have that mentality, so I think it worries me that more people go into marriages without feeling like a team...like they can get through anything as long as they have each other.
I think with true love, and true marriages money or who makes more of it should never matter. Your husband is an awesome man married to an awesome woman. And, you both are awesome together. Who cares who makes more "paper". lol Because in reality that is what it really is. :)
Love his sense of humor about it though. Sugarmama.. hehe I am honestly getting excited about your families visit to Croatia. It is going to be awesome. :)
Yes it is!!!! I'm so looking forward to it!!!!
Lots of laughter for sure!!! Hehehe
My wife and I have a similar situation going on right now. While I do receive a salary as a graduate research assistant, she brings home more than I do! It's always great to hear other stories like this, so thank you for sharing!
I love that more and more comments are saying this - it's a great thing to know that times are a-changin' and men and women are focused more on their partnership rather than competition!
Thanks @ethandsmith!
Me and your husband are quite alike @dreemsteem. My wife is very strong minded and opinionated and I love her for that. I also encourage and try to teach our young girls to be the same. That they can be self sufficient and independent as they get older :)
That's right @robertandrew!!! The more dads that feel the same way as you and my hubby - the more daughters and sons will grow up understanding how to view these things with a healthy perspective!!!