Honoring Lucky
I honestly do not want to talk about my dog Lucky who finally succumbed to death because of old age. But since its affecting my psyche and my work here, I think that I have to do something about it before it pulls me under.
I received news of Lucky's death last week Thursday right after class at 12 noon QLD time. My sister informed me that she died at 9 am Philippine time that day. I was initially consoled that finally, she is resting and that, she is just a dog. But the thing is, it felt painful and, I am grieving for her.
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According to psychologytoday.com:
Research shows us that grieving the death of our companion animals can be just as painful, if not more than, grieving the loss of a family member or friend. There are helpful steps to take immediately after your pet's passing, and also key self-care strategies that can help someone process through their grief experience.
Grieving is a highly personalized, individualistic experience that is influenced by culture and social groups. The process in which you might experience the pain of losing your pet might look immensely different from even a direct family member living in the same house.
Looking back at the horrible 3 days, I think that I have to tell you this guys: I wanted to get over my grief and, I think that the best way of doing so is by honoring Lucky's memories.
I am not going to erect a memorial or monument in her honor. Nor am I going to do anything dramatic. But since Lucky thinks of me as a very compassionate being, I think the best that I could do so is to work my way into it. Not just for other dogs or animals but for every being I meet. Yes. Its not difficult you guys will say because of my profession but, it really does not take that much. It might take saying a few kind words, greeting or smiling at a stranger. I have been doing these before but from now on, when I do, I will keep this in mind: I am not jut a good person. I honor the memory of the one I recently lost.
I will again get another dog in the future and probably go through the process yet again. But when I do, I hope that I am a better and more responsible mom than I ever was to Lucky and to my previous dogs and pets.
It's never easy to lose a pet friend... I've been there a few times. It never gets any easier. Never, ever. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I hope you had great times together. 😶
thank you.It does not really get any easier but, I am just happy that I do have the wisdom to reflect on it.
I am so sorry for your lost. It is hard to lose a companion. I lost many also out of my profession and you will never get used to it. I wish you strength but above all good memories and 💖
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thank you @wakeupkitty! Are you a vet?
Ahhh sweet Anne, lucky is in dog heaven and dont say you warent a great mum, dogs love their owner so lucky was lucky to have you
Thank you for your kind words @brittandjosie.
Offcourse concentrate on your new life and that wish Will become truth in the near future
The cat I grew up with just passed away, as well, a few weeks ago. I spent many-a-day with her just laying out in my room while I'd be on the computer or watching television. I empathize with you as I have regrets about not treating her better. But I do believe it will get better when we heal. It helps me to acknowledge how blessed we are to have such creatures
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Indeed. Sometimes, its hard to have a pet because you have to raise a "kid" and parent them in their entire lives. But when they're gone, you're gonna miss them because, they were really a big part of your life and they give you a sense of purpose.
So sorry for your lost, it must have been hard for you, she was lucky to have you.
Yes. It was hard though I had gone through the death and lost of my pets when I was younger. It was never easy really. But, just as they say, life should go on and, one way of me journeying to recovery is well, to tell my story.
And we thank you for sharing this heart warming story with us.
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Pets are never 'JUST' anything. They are a part of your life. A companion a confidant and part of your family.
Each animal loss has affected me some in different ways, depending on how they have passed. My last puppy (he was only 3) had died from an aneurysm. I stumbled over him as I walked in the door. I have to admit. I didn't handle that one well. I still have issues, he was my emotional support animal on top of it all.
'Glad' to hear I'm not the only one who has trouble dealing with the loss of a pet, even though quite some time has passed.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Many people don't get that, ... reading that sentence just made me cry because it is so right...
aww. You truly are such a sweet soul. People think I'm weird about it too. I don't care. I have kids but my animals are just as much part of my family. I'm not looking forward to when it's the old man's time we found him feral, he was about 4-5 mos old at the time and he's 15 this yr.
I don't have human kids, but feline children. I love them to death. And just like you say, people think I'm weird because I consider them to be my kids. Well, I admit... maybe that is a bit weird, but I can't help it.
As a kid, I only had dogs, but when I went to live in my first apartment, it was a cat that crossed my life. I always thought I was a dog-person, and not a cat-person, but I appear to be both.
I adopted 7 of them between 1997 and 2001. I lost one in 2007 and one in 2010, and I'm still not over it. Every since, I've been living in fear, because they were getting older, and by losing the first two I realized that I would have to say goodbye to all at one point.
Last year in September, one was diagnosed with a very aggressive sort of cancer. The 10 weeks between the diagnose and the moment we had to let her go literally broke me. Exactly 10 days later, the dog died, while she was just fine four days earlier.
I sank into deep depression...
Last July, I had to say goodbye to my favorite cat, my little guy was 21 years of age, and once again, I died inside when I had to let him go. I still die a little each day since. I miss him so much.
And the fear is bigger than ever. Because the 3 that remain are between 18 and 20 years old. I can't go through this again... but I will have to, three times. I've still not recovered from losing my babies (I'm literally sobbing while writing this), and I don't expect to recover any time soon.
People try to comfort me by saying things like: 'At least you had them with you for a long time' - but that doesn't really help. 20 years is like half of my life, my entire life as an adult. That really means something.
I'm so scared all the time...
About an hour ago, I came across the post I wrote after my little man died. I still can't bring myself to read it again. Even after 8 months, I can't go into the living room - he used to be on the couch al the time - without feeling the sadness take over.
Sometimes I think that if I would have known it would be so devastating to lose them, I would have never taken them in in the first place. But then again, If i hadn't, I would have missed out on so many beautiful things.
However, I can't say if I'll be able to take in another cat or dog when my three girls are gone. I don't even know if I will be able to cope with the loss of those three. A heart can only be broken so often...
OH hun 😢 I totally get that. It's been 3yrs since I lost the last one and I still cry. It breaks my heart how I found him. There is nothing weird at all.
I can completely understand about how you feel about getting anymore after your current ones. It's hard. You're not replacing them that's the one thing to remember. But yes it hurts more each time you lose another :( .
Talking about crying. I didn't cry but I did get very teary eyed. Thank YOU 💜💜💜💜
I know first-hand what it is like to lose a four-legged family member. I had to go through it three times this last year. I'm very sorry for your loss.
My best guess is that you're too hard on yourself in that last paragraph.
After all, you say it yourself:
That, and the fact that you use the word 'mom'(which I do too) give me the impression that you have been everything a dog could have wished for.
Treasure all those beautiful memories instead of beating yourself up, thinking you were not the best or responsible mom. I don't think Lucky would have wanted you to...
thank you for your kind words. Well, the thing is that, it does not get any easy on me. I would perhaps get another pet here and go through the process again. But it was never easy.....
Having to let go of 4 of my dear cats was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with in my life... There are only 3 left now , the youngest being 17 or 18. I must admit that the fear of losing them is a heavy load to carry too :0(
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yes. it is but, while you're with your cats, enjoy their company
I am... or at least I try my best...
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Dear @nurseanne84
I'm so very sorry that you have to go through such a difficult time in your life.
Thank you for your kind words crypto.piotr. Yes. It was very difficult but, the first step to healing is recognizing where it truly hurts and, I hope that I get over this journey soon enough.....